Event honors injured, killed cyclists – Valley Morning Star : Local News.
Archive for hit and run
Event honors injured, killed cyclists – Valley Morning Star : Local News
Posted in cycling with tags bicycle, bike, bike safety, cycling, cyclist, death, eddie arguelles, Eduardo Arguelles, fatal, fatality, ghost bike, hit and run, honor, killed, matt yaeger, matthew scott yaeger, matthew yaeger, mcallen, memorial, multi-sport maniacs, news, remember, ride of silence, roy carlson, sylvia garcia, team mcallen, team mcallen cycling, terri mancabelli, texas, the monitor, triathlete, triathletes, valley morning star on May 22, 2015 by runmyssierunThe Ghost in the Spokes
Posted in cycling, Running, triathlon with tags 5am wake up ride, bicycle, bicycle safety, bike, bike safety, city of mcallen, cycling, cyclist, death, fatality, ghost bike, hit and run, mcallen, ride, ride of silence, run ride share, Team in Training, team mcallen, texas, tx on May 19, 2015 by runmyssierun
That white bike you see by the road fastened to a light pole or sign signifies that the life of a cyclist was taken during a bike ride. Many times, if you get the chance to speak to a cyclist, you’ll begin to understand that the bond between the cyclist and their steed is unlike any other relationship between a human and an inanimate object. It is almost like the two become one. Neither can do what they were designed to do without the other. The white bike is a ghost bike waiting patiently for it’s owner to return to it so that they can finish the ride they started.
Weird thing about ghost bikes is that way back before I was even running, I worked at a television station and one of my projects was an awareness campaign with a 15 year old boy, Jake Ramon, who produced an award winning documentary about bicycle safety in the Rio Grande Valley after the tragic loss of Roy Carlson on Trenton road in McAllen. Jake’s mother is a cyclist with Team McAllen. Jake’s father is the big brother of one of my best friends when we were in elementary school. God seemed to have planted the seeds earlier and I just never quite saw the signs to what I was about to embark on.
Prior to becoming a cyclist, I drove my car with my phone texting all the time. I saw the white bikes by the road but never really paid much mind to them.
When you know better, you do better.
And that’s why I’m so vocal. I want all of us to know better so we can be better. And I know I’m not alone in this.
I’ll see you at the Ride of Silence tomorrow.
Late night prayers on the Jogging trail
Posted in Uncategorized with tags bicentennial, bicyclist death, cancer, cyclist death, donny cardenas, eddie arguelles, Eduardo Arguelles, hit and run, jog, jogging, jogging trail, LLS, mcallen texas, mcallen tx, mcallentx, mimi cardenas, Mimi's Miles, Mimismiles, myssie cardenas barajas, night, petition, pray, Rgv, rio grande valley, run, running, running trail, Team in Training, tnt, triathlon, trigirl, trispiration on April 9, 2015 by runmyssierunI’ve talked before about dog runners and cat runners… (dog runners run in packs and cat runners run solo and independently) Since, leaving the Team in Training triathlon team in February, I haven’t had any organized group workouts. Finding the motivation to go out there and do the scheduled workout has been a personal struggle. I don’t get those encouraging, motivating texts to get my butt out of my warm spot I’ve snuggled into at 3:45 a.m. anymore. Its so much harder doing this solo.
And now it seems that my morning workouts will change to evening workouts because of hubby’s crossfit class at 5:30am. The struggle to be consistent is always challenged by the struggle to be adaptable to any and all situations. In March, I had noted all the morning classes around and group runs/rides that I could join. I even got super excited because there’s a new SURFING class at 5:30 that would help me focus on my core and upper body so that I can empower my weak swim stroke.
My first #surfset class at Contempo Fitness Studio – LOVED IT
I found myself quickly scrambling to adjust my calendar of workouts to see who was doing what in the evenings… checking open pool times, costs, memberships, group rides, distances, speeds, sags, etc…. and then it happened. My freak out session came. I cracked. That thought again…
WHY AM I DOING THIS???? It’s too much. Just quit it all. Do something that doesn’t take so much time. Do something that’s not so hard. There’s tons of other stuff you can do to help. Besides, you need to be here for (son) when he does his homework and to do laundry, sweep up the dog fur, take the dogs out, (insert a million other excuses that will clearly make the world come to a screeching halt because I didn’t do this or that… and that lasts for about three hours of conversation in my head while I desperately try to convince myself that it was ok to quit)
uh oh…
You read that last word in parenthesis, right? Yep, that’s all it took to wake up that mean voice in my head.
Have you ever felt someone roll their eyes at you? Have you ever felt someone snicker and sneer at you even they knew you knew they were doing it? Has that other person ever been your inner you? I swear the Inner Myssie is so sick and tired of me now. Her patience is wearing thin.
Anyways… long story longer…
I had it out with myself – again – as always – and got out there to do anything… anything… just to get out and move and get clarity back where it needed to be the first chance that life gave me…. later that night. Much later.
I love how a simple little jog takes my mind to where my heart is. I had a pretty messed up month and as each week passed, things seemed to be getting worse. It was as if this big dark cloud was following me around CONSTANTLY!!!
It was late. 9:30p.m. I usually don’t run in the dark at night here in this border town that has been infiltrated with illegal activity for a while now (and some pretty scary stuff happening on the running trails to women on this trail). This evening, though, I was determined – almost in a rebellious driven determination – to get a run in. No head lamp. No reflective or light vest. No mace. No gun. No taser. No garmin. No runkeeper. No NikeRun. Nothing but me and my iPhone with none of my playlists that took years to build (in my bad luck, my iPhone died… taking all my running playlists with it – my songs got backed up but not the playlists).
*DO NOT EVER DO THIS!!! NEVER EVER EVER RUN LIKE I DID. I LUCKED OUT BECAUSE I HAVE AWESOME GUARDIAN ANGELS…. ok, proceed onto the rest of the story…
So there I was in the dim shadows of the Bicentennial Street Running Trail right smack in the middle of my pity party about about a mile and a half into my run when I see him…. the first split second is a freak-out session… He’s sitting down about 200 yards ahead of me on a bench by one of the metal planet informational sculptures along the trail, his head in this hands, elbows propped on his knees and looking down and I’m running towards him… but this wasn’t what I first focused in on… the first thing I focused on from the distance were his shoes. They were brand spanking new blinged out Clorox white leather court shoes… like for tennis.
*Runners don’t wear court shoes on a running trail.
Clearly this young man – approximately mid-20’s – was not a runner. Immediately the runner snob in me takes a mental note: this man does not belong here. And then the Myssie that I like about me pops out…
“He’s here for clarity. The same clarity you are seeking.” I said to myself.
“Look at him. Can’t you see? He’s praying. He’s asking for guidance, seeking answers, wanting help.”
I ran to the northernmost trail and looped my way back South again. I’ll bet a good 20-30 minutes had passed. There he was still. On the bench, hands clasped holding his head against his knees… praying.
Yes, yes, I could see that now. This trail is not just for people running marathons. This trail is the path that all people take to seek clarity, answers and the way to their own happiness. Some of us run this trail. Some of us walk this trail. Some of us ride this trail.
But we all are here in search of that thing that makes us happy, whole, productive, appreciated and loved.
We all have our reasons. They may all be different but none more important than any other. We all have our reasons.
I prayed for him that night for the rest of my run.
This month is tough for a lot of us. It marks the anniversary of the death of my Mother, my baby brother and the one year hit-and-run death of Eddie Arguelles. Friends and family organized a petition to establish an alert system similar to the current Amber Alert but designed for hit and run drivers. The news media has promoted it and we need just a few more signatures to make this possible. Please help us with your signature and share amongst your friends so that they can share and be more aware and unafraid of calling in any suspicious cars with fresh dents or witness a hit and run.
Sign this petition: https://www.change.org/p/sergio-munoz-juan-hinojosa-texas-hit-and-run-alert-system?recruiter=268720761&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=autopublish&utm_term=mob-xs-share_petition-reason_msg&fb_ref=Default
What’s the right thing to say?
Posted in Uncategorized with tags ap, Associated Press, bicycle, bike, bike fatality, bike safety, crash, death, drunk, drunk driver, drunk driving, eddie arguelles, ghost ride, harlingen, hit and run, john zess, kgbt, news, news wire, newswire, Rgv, rio grande valley, share the road, south texas, valleycentral on September 12, 2014 by runmyssierun
Funeral visitation for John Zess will be at Rudy Garza Funeral Home. They are located at 1702 E. Harrison Avenue in Harlingen, TX 78550. Visitation will be on Saturday, September 13 from 12noon – 9pm. A private viewing for the family will be on Friday
“You’re the first person I thought to call,” he said. (I won’t disclose his name)
I had some serious thought provoking conversations regarding the safety of cyclists in South Texas. A close friend of John Zess called me this morning. Clearly he was having a tough time dealing with the loss of his cycling buddy of many years. He admitted bursting out into a loud cry shortly before he called. He knew I had just recently experienced those exact same feelings not too long ago with Eddie Arguelles’ tragic cycling death.
“People don’t understand until it happens to them,” he said while his normally booming, strong voice cracked with emotion.
And he is so right. People really DON’T understand until it happens to them. Sadly, that means that many more will die on our streets before our community will get it. And then it will take something incredibly awful – I’m talking dreadfully, unspeakable awfulness – to happen to THEM in order for them to change their bad habits.
“What’s the right thing to say?” he asked me. “Do you tell people not to ride in the dark?”
We delved into a conversation that led us further into a confusing mess similar to the chicken and the egg. What do you address first? Who do you address first? What do you tell the other party in the meanwhile?
We have become so fixated on blame that we have become blind to the solution that is actually quite simple. But of course, us humans seem to complicate that solution. What is the solution?
Simple. Follow the law.
If we just didn’t drink all night long during the football game – over the limit of the law = All 50 states have now set .08% Blood Alcohol Concentration (BAC) as the legal limit for Driving Under the Influence (DUI) or commercial drivers, a BAC of .04% can result in a DUI conviction nationwide – then we wouldn’t have drunk drivers hitting cyclists or pedestrians or other cars. Simple, right? Put the drink down. And if you can’t put the drink down… give your keys to someone who didn’t drink (or smoke or snort or dope up)… AT ALL.
Simple, right?
Put the phone down. Simple, right?
Don’t speed. Simple, right?
Pay attention. Simple, right?
But let’s face it… life isn’t that simple. Even if cyclists do EVERYTHING possible to follow the law and EVERYTHING possible to be safe and visible, a black and white law that seems to simply state what should be legal and what should be illegal can be interpreted a completely different way by a good attorney or jury or a judge. And while we’re at it, let’s face it again… the life of the cyclist lost can never truly be given justice nor can a monetary value be given to their worth nor will their loss ever be felt as deeply as it should by that judge nor the person who took it away.
In fact, since you and I are being blunt with each other, let’s talk about the attitudes that we have towards cyclists on the road, cyclists who are hit and cyclists who are killed.
Now, let me be clear about this – THIS IS MY OPINION and it comes from what I have witnessed personally – I love my community and proud of how well it has overcome many of it’s growing pains because we really have grown quickly in a few number of years. The news headlines gets it’s ratings from talking about political leaders abusing power and going to jail but the political leaders that I’ve associated with have actually become a PART of the community and have kicked the ivory tower to the curb, joined its citizens on bike rides or runs and even marathons and have become active in pursuing infrastructure improvements for encouraging physical activity in our community. Our local police have protected my run group along the trail and have stopped alongside the road several times to render aid to a fellow cyclist who didn’t go over the tracks correctly or simply got a flat tire.
My friends, neighbors and friends I have yet to meet have become inspired with our community health kick and have cautiously joined the wave. They watch with wide eyes as people in big trucks or SUVs zoom by cyclists honking, cussing, throwing half empty beer bottles at them and even worse… intentionally swerving their way to knock them down. They see the local news anchors skim through the auto/ped fatality so that we can have time to discuss the NFL game this coming weekend or car that was abandoned in La Joya with the load of pot in the back seat. Everywhere we look, we see validation that the life of a cyclist seems less valuable than that of any other human.
It has become almost a daily ritual that someone tells me that I should not be riding my bike on the road.
“Roads are for cars not bikes.”
“Go ride your bike in a park where you’re supposed to be.”
“Why do you ride on 2nd street when there’s a side walk there?”
“You shouldn’t ride that early in the day. It’s too dark.”
“You shouldn’t ride at night. It’s too dark.”
“You shouldn’t ride in the day. It’s too hot.”
“You shouldn’t ride around Mission Trails. There are too many illegals crossing.”
So back to our thought provoking conversations…
The following was sent via Facebook private message (I won’t disclose her name)
“Myssie, I saw all you did and you inspired me to get up and do something good, too. I want to become healthy. I’m tired of being fat and not being able to play with my kids. I want to live a long healthy life but what’s the point if I’m supposed to sit here and accept that most likely I’m going to get hit and killed by a drunk driver way before a heart attack has the time to get me?”
What am I supposed to say? What’s the right thing to say?
I want to encourage people to be healthy and have fun doing it and do good for others and continue to push the healthy wave to others…
But what if I encourage someone to go out there and their life is taken away?
What if mine is taken away?
Since the age of six, I’ve had a recurring nightmare about the way I die. Those who are very close to me have heard the story several times. Even my husband knows how serious I am about this dream and will never drive down Hobbs Drive because of it… but I ride by it on my 5am ride. It is by far the biggest fear I have.
I am not going to pretend I have the answer to it all. I’ve even questioned my own sudden desire to go back to running marathons and leaving cycling. I won’t lie and say I’m not scared. But I also cannot, after all I have learned about overcoming fear and challenges these last few years, be bullied by fear to abandon the sport of cycling… a sport that led me to emotional and physical healing. I cannot let go of it.
What’s the right thing to say?
What’s the right thing to do?
Why is this so complicated now? If that answer just popped up in your head right now… do you believe your own answer?
P.S. The Ghost Ride planned for John Zess on Saturday morning at 7:00a.m. has been postponed due to expected thunderstorms on Saturday morning. Please find more details on the rescheduling of the ride on John’s facebook page, Bicycle World’s FB page or Lone Star Pacesetter’s FB page.
More media links on the latest regarding John Zess: http://www.valleycentral.com/news/story.aspx?id=1095044#.VBJtjvldV8F
We can not let fear deter us from doing the things we love. Cycling is a rather safe activity to partake here in the RGV as hundreds of cyclists were out and about yesterday and every day without incident. Unfortunately, we do have a *BIG* problem with drinking and driving in the area, and this is what is causing the majority, if not all, of the fatalities. I am a big believer that bicycles belong on the road. However, I am also realistic and practical when it comes to finding a solution to a complex problem. That is why we are advocating hard to have a dedicated, separated, region-wide bicycle trail. I am hopeful that this can happen in the next couple of years. ~ Ramon Hermida
Another cyclist hit and run tragedy
Posted in Uncategorized with tags ap, Associated Press, bicycle world, bike death, bike fatality, bike safety, cycling fatality, distracted driving, don't drink and drive, drunk driving, eddie arguelles, harlingen, hit and run, john zess, please be kind to cyclists, pr, pr wire, Rgv, rio grande valley, share the road, texting and driving on September 8, 2014 by runmyssierunJust as I was about to get my notes out about the Girl’s Tri in Harlingen yesterday and shout out to the world about my very first and probably only time on the podium’s first place block with a “what a way to celebrate my momma’s birthday!”…
I’m going to save that scheduled post and stay back for a while because of the man that I met yesterday at the Girl’s Tri that was joking about how he should have volunteered to do the body marking instead of helping with the bike course. And then went onto say that all these girl’s tri shorts are way too long!
He had a sense of humor that challenged mine. I liked that. After a few short minutes, he took a double take with me and then said “Hey, you’re the cancer girl, right? We need to talk after this race.”
I then went on to the pool to the athletes orientation meeting… and had a great race (that I’ll post about later)
This morning, I found out that John, the same man I just met yesterday was fatally hit and run while on his 5am ride.
I went to his facebook page to take a closer look. He had posted that he had just recently been diagnosed with colon cancer and was preparing to do a race next weekend for cancer while raising funds and awareness — just like I do.
Now I can’t stop thinking if this was what he wanted to talk to me about.
John Zess… all it took was a minute and a giggle. I’m glad I met you. I wish I had known you longer. I hope that someone else out there knows what you intended to talk to me about so that if there was something you wanted to organize for cancer, I could help. In fact, I sure am tempted to do next weeks race FOR you. I wonder…
http://www.valleycentral.com/news/story.aspx?id=1093399#.VA0K4fldV8E
John Zess
Fatally hit and run on September 7, 2014
Harlingen, Texas
Ironically, he has posted several times on his facebook page a simple black and white graphic with a saying “Don’t run me over”
Media & news updates:
http://www.kurv.com/local/6371
http://www.krgv.com/news/driver-turns-himself-in-after-allegedly-striking-a-bicyclist/
Just Du It already!!!
Posted in Uncategorized with tags 3 feet please, be kind to cyclists, bicycle, bike, cyclist, death, duathlon, eddie arguelles, edinburg, Eduardo Arguelles, edward arguelles, felt, felt bicycles, Felt bike, felt bikes, harlingen, hit and run, mcallen, Mimi's Miles, rio grande valley, road bike, road racing, run ride share, share the road, triathlon, triflare, trisuit on June 11, 2014 by runmyssierun
Me riding my “Mimi” custom Felt bike from Wally’s Bike Shop and wearing my sunflower trisuit from http://triflare.com/
After last weekend’s disappointing DNF at CapTexTri, I entered the Duathlon last minute with the promise to myself to just finish it.. not for time… not for anyone… not for any cause… not for glory or “I told you so” or “I knew you could do it” or even the whispers of “I knew she wouldn’t beat me.”
I needed to finish this so that I could prove to myself that I was not going to give up. Still sick, I pushed through.
My legs felt heavy during the run. I hadn’t run like I was supposed to so I expected this to hurt… but I didn’t give up. Didn’t stop once. But boy oh boy all that mucus that had accumulated over the last few weeks all of a sudden wanted to come out… and it did!!!
I wore my brand new beautiful Triflare sunflower one piece triathlon suit. I got so many compliments (although I wish I was 20 years younger and had the body of Alex when she wore her Triflare trisuit in Brownsville). I loved it!!! Well, until I tried to figure out how to get OUT of it in a hurry while running straight past T1 and onto the bathrooms while asking the race volunteers to unzip me!!!
What happened in the bathroom is seriously TMI. Don’t even ask. All you need is a good imagination.
I spent a good 10-15 minutes in there.
I walked out and found another fellow runner who was relaying and asked her to zip me back up.
I looked over to transition and saw just three bikes left racked… including mine. “Eh… might as well be the last one out and enjoy this one.”
What????? Is my inner sarcastic voice having a nice day????
Well, alright then! Let’s go have a great time!!!
I gently took Mimi off the bike rack and maneuvered her to the mount line. Stroked her seat, said “You ready Momma? Let’s go!” Jumped on and the fun began!!!
That feeling came back and boy did I need it!
I remember Sissy saying that she wanted me to find a way to deal with stress in a healthy way because she knew things were only going to get harder on me. She was right and I did.
I remember every single person’s advice along the way. I remember every helping hand and loving gesture from supporters, donors, sponsors, coaches, friends and family. Best of all… when I’m riding my Mimi, I forget all the pain, sorrow and anger I hold inside and feel more alive and happy than I’ve ever felt before.
So I understand what Mike Padgett said a few weeks ago about how if he died riding his bike, he’d die happy. As much as it hurt to think that it could happen like that, I understand that feeling. I hope it doesn’t happen like this but if it does… I’ll die happy.
And as promised… the latest from the media regarding Eddie Arguelles
http://www.krgv.com/videos/driver-indicted-in-cyclist-s-death/
Ride of Silence
Posted in Uncategorized with tags bicycle, bicycle fatality, bike, bike safety, eddie arguelles, edinburg, fatality, hit and run, mcallen, mcallen tx, pharr, ride of silence, ride4eddie, run ride share, share the road on May 22, 2014 by runmyssierunHundreds rode in remembrance, honor and solidarity. It was monumental for this community that is just opening it’s eyes to the vast numbers of people who are taking huge strides in managing their own healthy lifestyle. I was in awe… until I rode by Eddie’s ghost bike. I lost it. I completely lost it. Thank you to the unknown rider who stayed by me patting my back until I was able to wipe away the tears.
The lovers, the dreamers and me
Posted in Uncategorized with tags #rideforeddie, 5am wake up ride, bicycle, bicycling, bike fatalities, bike safety, cancer, cancer support, caregiver, cure cancer, cycling fatalities, cycling safety, distracted driver, distracted driving, don't text and drive, drunk driving, eddie arguelles, Eduardo Arguelles, edward arguelles, ghost bike, hit and run, no texting, ride of silence, riding, safe bike, safe cycling, share the road, Team in Training, team mcallen on May 15, 2014 by runmyssierun
A man shared with me not too long ago that after he lost his child to cancer, he also lost his job, his house and his marriage. He used his sons college fund to pay for his daughters treatment and was head first in the quicksand of debt. He stared off into space as if he was reciting a poem that wasn’t authored by him. His voice cracked as he looked up and said “buy hey, I’ve got my health.”
I’ve had some pretty deep conversations lately with strangers. Isn’t that weird? How you can spill your guts to a total stranger easier than you can talk about those same feelings with your best friend? Hmmm you don’t? Well at this moment and with this topic… I did.
Maybe it’s because I’ve spilled my guts before to people who I thought were friends and they used that weak point against me later on. I’ve found that sometimes speaking to complete strangers is quite liberating. We can’t judge each other because we’ll never see each other again. It’s pure emotional venting of the soul.
Oh… wait… did I just call myself weak? Fantabulous!
See, I am weak. I am no stronger than anyone else out here. I cry. I sob. I turn red and blotchy and boogers run uncontrollably out of my nose and get rashes on my neck because of emotion. I shake in anger. I can’t speak in clear sentences when I’m flustered. I can’t sleep some nights. I can’t wake up some mornings. I have a tremendous amount of guilt that I must live with every single day. Why did cancer choose those that I loved instead of me? Why do I have to live without them? Why?
Ahhhhh… but remember that promise I made. I’m never going to let you see that side of me. I won’t say that it doesn’t exist because it does. But just as my mom didn’t allow others to see her in pain… I cannot allow you to see me in mine. Well, at least I keep it to an absolute minimum population.
So don’t you call me a fake because I’m smiling in all my photos. And don’t you try to compliment me by saying I’m strong or brave or courageous. I am none of these things.
I am my mother’s daughter.
That is the only label I will never wiggle out of.
____
The book is on again. But I’m going back to square one. If I’m going to do this… I’m going to do it right. Taking much longer than I expected and it’s much tougher than I predicted. But isn’t that the story of my life? Book galleys to a select trusted few should be ready in about 90 days.
____
As promised, continued media links for Eddie Arguelles
http://www.krgv.com/news/bicyclist-struck-in-hit-and-run-receiving-posthumous-degree/
http://www.valleycentral.com/news/story.aspx?id=1044457#.U3ULDvldV8E
https://www.facebook.com/roycantu/media_set?set=a.10203787049420738.1073741834.1354313464&type=1
http://www.krgv.com/news/bond-lowered-for-suspect-in-cyclist-s-death/
and what didn’t make the news… two of the ghost bikes that were to be dedicated at the Ride of Silence have been stolen.
What’s your limit?
Posted in Uncategorized with tags affordable cancer care, bicycle, bike, bike safety, Cancer Cure, cancer survivor, cancer treatment, cycling death, cyclist, eddie arguelles, edinburg tx ride edinburg, Eduardo Arguelles, edward arguelles, ethan zohn, hcmpo, hidalgo county, hidalgo county mpo, hit and run, leethan zohn, leukemia lymphoma society, LLS, lobbying, lobbyist, mimi cardenas, mimis mikes, myssie cardenas barajas, reality tv survivor, ride mcallen, ride pharr, survivor, washington dc on May 7, 2014 by runmyssierunFor two years I’ve busted my butt pushing my body’s limit and taking it places I’ve never thought possible. I’ve caught myself saying several times that there are no more limits anymore. Nothing is impossible.
Getting healthy —- no limits! I can do this!
Losing weight — no limits! I can do this!
Curing cancer — no limits! I can do this!!
Running 7 marathons — no limits! I can do this!!
Cycling 108 miles up a 5,000 foot mountain — no limits! I can do this!
5 triathlons…wait, but I don’t know how to swim… Who cares! Learn! No limits!!! I can do this!!!!
Ride my bike a couple of miles with Eddie through the streets of my hometown…. Uh yeah… See… I can’t do that. I’m limited. I’m not limited by legal limits because I’m legally allowed to ride my bike in the street but the ignorance, lack of respect and inexperience of automobile drivers limits my ability and now my life longevity.
Seems I got a big wake up call this week.
See, for a while I lived my life without limits. And IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!
But sitting in a courtroom this week gave me all new insights on limits… Legal limits.
All this time I’ve busted through perceived limits and countless finish lines but I see now that there are lines that no human being SHOULD cross. When a child of God, a fellow human being, crosses that line with complete disregard to all moral, ethical and legal limits, it makes me wonder if there is still another path to run (or ride) in front of me.
As I enter for the first time the Capitol of our great nation attempting to convince our elected leaders of necessary change that must take place in order for cancer treatments and possible cure for cancer to be both affordable and accessible, I am reminded of legal limits once again.
I find myself racing along a path with lines that can be pushed one way and limits that restrain in another way and lives at stake all around us.
I sat with women from all over Texas today sharing our stories of cancer. How we’ve all lost children and how we’ve lost jobs and how time had been stolen from our lives because of cancer. Each story was profound and each struggle prolific and each woman still had a smile on her face after sharing it with me… Just like Momma used to do.
And then I met Ethan.. A reality TV star. You would think his celebrity status would diminish the harshness of his struggle, or his professional soccer talent would hinder the brutality of his disease or even think… Nah, he’s too handsome to go through such pain and suffering. But cancer is not prejudice. It picks whoever it wants and it usually picks the good people. It picked his dad. He lost him to cancer when he was just a boy. And cancer picked on him, too… Twice.
Ethan was well known for his long hair but insisted on being in control of his cancer and shaved himself bald. He was still very striking. And then he shared a video diary of himself while on treatment.
He cried while watching himself as if the suffering all came back to him that very instant. He never said it but insinuated that there were moments that he didn’t think he could make it… And moment that he didn’t want to. And then he looked up with years in his eyes as he admitted the reality … “And it can come back again.”
The second time cancer hit him, he said “It hit me in the gut.” He said he had to do something …. SOMETHING. It was his “do something moment”. I know that feeling all too well.
My whole family had been effected by cancer. It will never ever be the same again. I am hit in the gut in a way that you may not understand but I promised y’all is be candid. And just as Ethan was incredible candid with me tonight, I’ll share this tonight with y’all….
I feel guilty. I feel guilty for not being chosen. I feel guilty for being healthy, for taking my health for granted all these years, and for NOT going anything until it was too late to enjoy it with those who are now gone.
There will be lines that can never be crossed. There will be finish lines that I hope will never end for me. Countless I hope! There will be limits that I hope to break and limits that I hope will never ever be touched.
Do you know what your limits are?
Oh Sissy… What a journey you’ve chosen for me!
*ps — I dreamt Donny last night. He was his six year old self sitting with me in front of the tv in the living room in the house on Samano watching Saturday morning cartoons together… As we always did. Can you guess what was on the tv? Can you guess what we were singing? #schoolhouserock #imjustabill
Aren’t You Scared???
Posted in Uncategorized with tags be kind to cyclists, bicycle advocate, bicycle awareness, bicycle fear, bicycle safety, bike advocate, bike awareness, bike fear, bike safety, eddie arguelles, hit and run, ride4eddie, safety advocate, share the road on April 28, 2014 by runmyssierunThere is a fear so fierce and so powerful that it crushes dreams, goals, fun and happiness all in one single swoop. It tried to defeat me. It lost.
“Aren’t you scared?”
Of course I am! But I can’t allow it to stop me.
Maybe you forgot… I started running and biking and swimming for a reason… for A CAUSE (#mimismiles). And I made a promise that as long as I could, I wouldn’t stop until a cure for cancer was accessible and affordable to anyone who had it. We’re not there yet so I cannot stop.
“But what if a drunk driver hits you?”
Then I would hope that my community would rise up FOR me and finish what I started. Our driving behaviors MUST change. My mission to find a cure/treatment that is accessible and affordable for everyone is closer than ever before. I would hope that we wouldn’t let that opportunity slip between our fingers.
“Valley drivers won’t change their bad habits.”
I disagree. They will … WE WILL.. if the laws set in place are ENFORCED. They will if we keep talking about it and especially if WE SET THE EXAMPLE. Of course there will always be those few people who refuse to do the right thing because they’re rebels or cool like that… or just plain selfish, stupid, etc. BUT the majority will change if we all do this together. And here’s something… how about unified bicycle laws?
This morning, while driving my son to school, my phone went off 7 times. I naturally looked over to take a peek and it took effort NOT to pick it up… BUT I LEFT IT ALONE. There’s a time and a place for everything. Clearly, I have learned that this was NOT the time to pick up the phone. It’s more important to be a mother, a driver and be responsible for my children and those driving around me. Someone’s text is NOT more important than someone else’s life.
What? Oh… ya, I should repeat that. Hold on a sec.
SOMEONE’S TEXT IS NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE.
Got it?
Just to make sure, why don’t we all re-read that one more time.
“Drivers don’t even know that cyclists can ride in the same lane that cars do. They want you to ride in circles in a park away from them.”
Then we have a lot of teaching to do. See, just like you wouldn’t wear soccer cleats to go bowling, or you wouldn’t call your car mechanic for answers to brain surgery… you don’t take a ROAD bike to a park. Well, technically, you could do all of these… but it won’t be the best outcome.
The silver lining that has made itself clearly visible to ALL of us is that we all need to make drastic changes in our lives. We all need to make sure we know our laws, OBEY these laws and respect life the way we were meant to. The community that I live in has been labeled the fattest area in the nation and the scariest place to live in the nation. But what has NOT been talked about YET is the uprising of our citizens to make fitness a priority and with that we are becoming more active, fitter, and healthier… and because of that, we are spending more time outside in the public and we are reclaiming our community with pride.
I was scared when I graduated. I was scared when I drove up into the parking lot of the very first job I had. I was scared when I got married. I was scared when I was pregnant and the doctor said “It’s time.” I was scared when I did my very first event, LiveSTRONG. I was scared when my mom died.
Millions of people have experienced the same fear I had at all these times I listed and continued to move forward. Fear didn’t deter me from what I was supposed to do then. Why would it now?
These are the things that DO scare me:
Complacency
Ignorance
People who say “that’s not my job”
People who say “that’s not my problem”
People who still don’t care.
__________
Now, about my training…. I got sick. Oh boy did I ever get sick!!! I felt it coming on Wednesday night at the pool while doing my swim drills with the TEAM. Coach W looked at me and made this weird motion around her head while asking me “You ok? You go this funk going on.”
I looked at her and said “No, I don’t think I’m ok.” I had a HUGE head ache but thought it was just emotional stress from the weeks before all piling up on me. You know.. Donny’s death anniversary, Momma’s death anniversary, Easter and the lack of celebration of it, taxes, my son going to the Navy, and Eddie’s tragic and sudden death… it was a lot.
But it seems that I caught something and combined with all the above, my body just shut down. I went into a screeching halt and have been like this for several days. I was looking forward to doing the very last time trial on Sunday but unfortunately, I got worse on that day and stayed in. I knew better than to think I could go full force with congestion and in the state of weakness I was in. Even with my absence, I was shocked when I saw the post on my wall saying I had podiumed!!!
My first podium moment and I wasn’t there to bask in it’s glow 😦
Yet another sign that it’s not about the time or the medals but about what I’m doing for myself and for others.
RunMyssieRun 