Aren’t You Scared???

There is a fear so fierce and so powerful that it crushes dreams, goals, fun and happiness all in one single swoop. It tried to defeat me. It lost.

risks-and-dangers-are-real-but-fear-is-a-choice-4

“Aren’t you scared?”

Of course I am! But I can’t allow it to stop me.

Maybe you forgot… I started running and biking and swimming for a reason… for A CAUSE (#mimismiles). And I made a promise that as long as I could, I wouldn’t stop until a cure for cancer was accessible and affordable to anyone who had it.  We’re not there yet so I cannot stop.

“But what if a drunk driver hits you?”

Then I would hope that my community would rise up FOR me and finish what I started. Our driving behaviors MUST change. My mission to find a cure/treatment that is accessible and affordable for everyone is closer than ever before. I would hope that we wouldn’t let that opportunity slip between our fingers.

“Valley drivers won’t change their bad habits.”

I disagree. They will … WE WILL.. if the laws set in place are ENFORCED. They will if we keep talking about it and especially if WE SET THE EXAMPLE.  Of course there will always be those few people who refuse to do the right thing because they’re rebels or cool like that… or just plain selfish, stupid, etc. BUT the majority will change if we all do this together. And here’s something… how about unified bicycle laws?

This morning, while driving my son to school, my phone went off 7 times. I naturally looked over to take a peek and it took effort NOT to pick it up… BUT I LEFT IT ALONE. There’s a time and a place for everything. Clearly, I have learned that this was NOT the time to pick up the phone. It’s more important to be a mother, a driver and be responsible for my children and those driving around me. Someone’s text is NOT more important than someone else’s life.

What? Oh… ya, I should repeat that. Hold on a sec.

SOMEONE’S TEXT IS NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE.

Got it?

Just to make sure, why don’t we all re-read that one more time.

“Drivers don’t even know that cyclists can ride in the same lane that cars do. They want you to ride in circles in a park away from them.”

Then we have a lot of teaching to do. See, just like you wouldn’t wear soccer cleats to go bowling, or you wouldn’t call your car mechanic for answers to brain surgery… you don’t take a ROAD bike to a park. Well, technically, you could do all of these… but it won’t be the best outcome.

The silver lining that has made itself clearly visible to ALL of us is that we all need to make drastic changes in our lives. We all need to make sure we know our laws, OBEY these laws and respect life the way we were meant to. The community that I live in has been labeled the fattest area in the nation and the scariest place to live in the nation. But what has NOT been talked about YET is the uprising of our citizens to make fitness a priority and with that we are becoming more active, fitter, and healthier… and because of that, we are spending more time outside in the public and we are reclaiming our community with pride.

I was scared when I graduated. I was scared when I drove up into the parking lot of the very first job I had. I was scared when I got married. I was scared when I was pregnant and the doctor said “It’s time.” I was scared when I did my very first event, LiveSTRONG. I was scared when my mom died.

Millions of people have experienced the same fear I had at all these times I listed and continued to move forward. Fear didn’t deter me from what I was supposed to do then. Why would it now?

These are the things that DO scare me:

Complacency

Ignorance

People who say “that’s not my job”

People who say “that’s not my problem”

People who still don’t care.

__________

Now, about my training…. I got sick. Oh boy did I ever get sick!!! I felt it coming on Wednesday night at the pool while doing my swim drills with the TEAM. Coach W looked at me and made this weird motion around her head while asking me “You ok? You go this funk going on.”

I looked at her and said “No, I don’t think I’m ok.” I had a HUGE head ache but thought it was just emotional stress from the weeks before all piling up on me. You know.. Donny’s death anniversary, Momma’s death anniversary, Easter and the lack of celebration of it, taxes, my son going to the Navy, and Eddie’s tragic and sudden death… it was a lot.

But it seems that I caught something and combined with all the above, my body just shut down. I went into a screeching halt and have been like this for several days. I was looking forward to doing the very last time trial on Sunday but unfortunately, I got worse on that day and stayed in. I knew better than to think I could go full force with congestion and in the state of weakness I was in. Even with my absence, I was shocked when I saw the post on my wall saying I had podiumed!!!

My first podium moment and I wasn’t there to bask in it’s glow 😦

Yet another sign that it’s not about the time or the medals but about what I’m doing for myself and for others.

 

 

 

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