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The Journey Continues

Posted in empowerment, Mom, Uncategorized on August 9, 2022 by runmyssierun

What would Mimi do?

Momma and I were best friends. She was my “momager” in pageants and modeling in my glory days. She was my sister in Delta Zeta Sorority. She was my real estate Broker. She was the most amazing mentor ever. She was my problem solver, confidant, guru, shopping buddy, secret keeper and because she prayed so hard for me, she is my protection now. She fought cancer for 6 years and in those 6 years was caregiver for 2 of them for her own sister who lost her battle six months before my Momma lost her own. It’s been 10 years since her death. I took a few years to heal. Did some things I never would have expected. Accomplished a lot but struggled because life was just never the same with her gone.

However, life goes on. I hesitantly returned back to work after years of absence from the industry. It was different. Really different. I intentionally made it different. I purposefully looked at everything through what I imagined would be her eyes. That changed everything for me.

THIS is the introduction to the next pathway of #mimismiles

What would Mimi do? She’d pray about it.

And that’s why I’m where I am now. And I’m so immensely grateful for that.

I’ve decided to bring back the blog. Might want to think about subscribing now. I have a feeling you’re going to like this next chapter.

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10 Years and a Broken Heart

Posted in Mom with tags , , , , , on April 8, 2022 by runmyssierun

It was 10 years ago today, right this very moment, that I crawled into bed with my Momma, held her hand, smoothed her hair back and whispered into her ear that it was ok to let go of us and stop the pain she was in. I remember hearing what the hospice nurses called the “death rattle”. I was the only one in the room with her in the end.
A few nights before, she had become quite antsy and restless. It was difficult for her to walk but she was adamant about going from her bed to the living room to watch TV on the couch. I lifted her up and walked her over, carefully holding her under her shoulders just incase she fell along the way. It was about 3:00 a.m. This would be the last time that she would have a conversation with me.
“I’m so sorry you have to see me go through this,” she said.
After I gathered my will and a bit of silence passed, I responded “I’m so glad it’s me you allowed to see you go through this.” I laid my head down on her frail bony shoulder as we sat on the couch together and she held me in her arms for the last time that night.
April 8, 2012, Easter Sunday, ten years ago today… If you believe in the biblical story of Jesus Christ and know about the time when he began his journey of suffering, of crucifixion and death…it matches exactly the same time frame that Momma followed that day. I truly believe in the deepest part of my heart that she chose that day and that time to join her Lord and Mother Mary for that reason. I wish with all my might I could have faith and strength like hers.
I held her hand as she took her last breath.
No other honor in my life time can ever surpass that honor. I now live my life trying to smile like her no matter how hard it gets. I now live my life reflecting all that she taught me no matter what anyone else tells me. I now live my life like hers so that my children can feel the love that I felt for her.

If you ask me if time makes it easier to deal with great loss, I will answer with a quick resounding NO.

When my father remarried, he gave me his wedding ring. My mother had already given me hers before she passed. I took them to a very talented local custom jeweler. I had trained with his wife and step mother at the time for several triathlons and had heard of my journey. He melted both rings together into a solid heart with her little “chip” diamond right smack in the center. I never take it off for reasons of symbolism and honor. Her heart, above mine, always leading me forward. Always.

But the brutal reality is that time doesn’t stand still nor is it ever at any time predictable. Since the untimely death of my baby brother, my father and I have been in a state of grief. It was too late for me to recognize and understand was that we grieve differently. However, what is identical while in the state of grief is the rash decisions we made during our depression stage. What my father and I both recognize now is the aftermath and consequences of those decisions and the impact it has made on our family… what’s left of our family to endure. Most profoundly, my youngest son. How unfair and unintentional those ramifications have been for him. Learning how to forgive myself for all he lost will likely take my lifetime. For me, mourning the loss of my father while he is still here on Earth – but so far removed from our lives – has been the most excruciating agony of my life.

Fast forward to this week, as I was making plans for Easter and the 10 year anniversary of my mother’s death, I said aloud how disappointing it is to be away from family at this time. And then it happened. My mother’s heart broke. Literally and figuratively.

I felt something drop inside my blouse, brush down my belly and clang on the floor by my feet. The heart pendant that had been hanging over my heart and split in two and fell just as I had mentioned my family sorrow. I need to also mention that this pendant is ONE solid piece. The pendant clasp was soldered into the charm so there are no moving parts that could or would NORMALLY break off… but it did. And perfectly and precisely in half no less.

The solid heart charm had been severed in half.

And fell.

Mom & dad’s heart had broken.

Spooked? If you don’t get it, you might want to read this all over again and then read between the lines.

Remember my signs?

Ya….. I got scared. I felt I disappointed my Momma so I showed up on the doorstep of my dad’s house. Picked him up and told him I was on my way to go take flowers to the cemetery and asked him if he wanted to go. He said he was working on the yard and I gave him a look. I told him, “You don’t need to get dressed up to go to the cemetery.” He chuckled and said, “Well Donny would mind.” *meaning that Donny, my baby brother who is buried next to my mom, took extra care of his looks. But then it dawned on me… he forgot. He was thinking it was Donny’s death anniversary. *his is on the 11th – today is the 8th

And then it dawned on him. He knew I wasn’t going to take NO for an answer and I made sure he got into my car to go with me to visit Momma…. and everyone else buried around her.

While with him, we had a really good talk. I asked a lot of questions I should have asked a long time ago. While sitting by her gravestone, we contemplated so many scenarios of what they would be doing if they were all still here. He stated that he went to church only because it’s what Momma would have done. I stated that I agreed to serve on all these committees only because it’s what Momma would have done. We both laughed and I said “It’s really hard to be like her.” He agreed. I’ve realized things I should have seen a long time ago. I think he’s still hurting and heavy with guilt. I think I’m still hurting and heavy with guilt. I know we still love each other. I know we both wish we had made better choices along the way. I know we both wish things were different.

I’m learning all about trauma responses and how it all manifests in our bodies. I’m also learning that I must take care of myself first before trying to take care of someone else. I believe I got my co-dependency nature from him and do NOT want my children to receive it from me. So… back to square one. How do you fix yourself in the constant battle towards growth and make sure your loved ones don’t get hit by the shrapnel? Answer: I don’t know but I cannot afford to sit back in ignorance and not try to do better. Ten years from now, I hope I re-read this and tell myself I’m glad I worked on my self and figured it out for my family.

Shannon Jewelers fixed my heart charm. No charge. It’s never coming off again.


I love you Momma.

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Realtor of the Year 2021

Posted in Mom, real estate, training for my first half ironman on January 1, 2022 by runmyssierun
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Realtor of the Year 2021

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Are you ok?

Posted in come back, empowerment, Mom, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on March 24, 2021 by runmyssierun

I credit my mother with super hero vision powers. She saw me. She could see through my words. She could see through my actions. She saw me when I couldn’t see what was right in front of me and when I was still trying to see who I was inside.

When I was in 6th grade, she got me a Judy Blume diary. She encouraged me to write down my feelings and express myself. It was difficult and took a while to catch on but deep down I knew it helped me.

I come from a family, a region and a culture that is predominantly Hispanic, stereotypically machismo and in my mother’s eyes had clearly hurt her daughter (and I feel had hurt my mother even more harshly). She and I were both raised in a culture where women were submissive, were unworthy of valued opinions, used for sexual entertainment, reproduction and daily maid services. she was a child of the 60’s — where the sexual revolution and women’s rights were promoted. I was a child of the 80’s — where latchkey GenX kids were left by themselves with highly processed foods, pop rocks, lawn jarts, Saturday morning cartoons and MTV because both parents either worked and were never home or were divorced and never home and forced their children to live out of a duffle bag as they jumped from house to house for visitation rights or were forced to live with grandparents until one parent could get their act together. My mother’s super hero 20/20 vision could see the conflicting messages both our generations were served in the world we were both raised in. Teaching me to journal was her way of empowering me with a voice to express my innermost feelings, something I think she may have struggled with herself as a child.

When I was a teenager, I endured chronic sexual trauma – this verbiage was carefully chosen to use, deleted and then reinserted again because I feel the words are both shockingly harsh and yet scientifically sterile and numbing (all feelings that correlate perfectly to the experience). The guilt and shame that came from it was nothing compared to the feelings I had later, after I had the courage to speak up and tell the two most trusted people in my life about it and then get blamed for it. So I locked it up inside of me. My mom saw me. She saw through me. I think deep down inside she knew something was terribly wrong so she arranged for me to speak to a psychiatrist. The term codependent entered my head and never left after that.

I remember a book shoved towards the bottom of our hall closet. It was called “Men who hate women and the women who love them”. My mom read tons of books daily… all of them Harlequin romance novels. So this book stood out even though she tried to hide it. All her other books were on a built in book shelf in her bedroom. But this one was hidden. And told me she struggled in the same ways I did. Did she recognize this in me in my early years? Did she see how I was always trying to impress my parents? Did she see how defeated I was when I never seemed to impress my father? Did she see the hurt in my eyes as I saw how bored, annoyed and agitated he was having to watch my ballet performance or piano recitals? I think she did. I think she recognized her own younger self in me as well. I wish I had remembered this sooner.

Your brain protects you as you try to heal from hurt by blocking certain memories until you’re able to deal with them. I feel stronger now, ten years later and now am remembering more and more. I wake up more often with bad dreams now but vividly remember them and I think this is my head telling my heart that I’m ready to deal. Memories of my mom encouraging me to write it all down and seek help – still in a family and society that keeps secrets – is making me feel like she’s giving me permission to push beyond cultural stigma. The really awesome thing about this is that if I talk about seeking ways to improve my mental health and being ok with it may empower someone else reading this to do the same. Are you ok? Because if you’re not, it’s ok to ask for help to become ok. Sometimes we can’t do it all by ourselves. Having a picture perfect Instagram or a to die for bikini body or fabulously waxed sports car isn’t all that if your mental health is mush. Priorities baby. Are you ok?

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Buy this! Do that! Subscribe here! Don’t eat that! And other expensive extreme stuff that doesn’t work…

Posted in come back, health & fitness, Mom, training for my first half ironman with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 24, 2018 by runmyssierun

“You need to eat low carb and high protein. Lots of meat!”

“No, you need to stop killing animals. Go vegan. Eat fruits and berries and vegetables and you’ll be fit naturally.”

“No, all you need is this meal replacement shake that you can buy from me.”

Everywhere I turn, there seems to be people who tell me how I’m supposed to be doing things… and yet, here I am… still.

I remember growing up watching my mom drinking tab and being on the grapefruit diet. I’m guilty of buying a Shake Weight, thigh master and some ridiculous balance thingamajig that a couple of fellow Realtors® convinced me to get with them – and never used.

I remember my husband’s grandmother eating a full box of chocolate exlax every other night and being surrounded by a bunch of beauty queens with other notorious eating disorders that seemed oddly ordinary at the time. In my house, there was a full set of Gilad, Jane Fonda, Buns of Steel and Cindy Crawford on betamax tapes.

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I pay an $80 monthly membership for my husband’s jujitsu gym that he went to a couple of time about 7 months ago. Also pay for a monthly membership for us to go to another gym and now pay extra for spin classes that I can get free with my monthly gym membership at the other place. I’ve paid for medical weightloss programs like HCG and tried every diet known to mankind like keto, adkins, paleo, bone broth, vegan, vegetarian, fasting, juicing, eating five servings of air a day, etc…. only to find that my triglycerides go through the roof, extremities swell up like the elephant man and end up gaining more weight than when I started the silly diet! I’ve tried to melt off pounds with saunas, hot yoga and trashbag looking sweat suits and even tried to freeze off love handles with cryotherapy (although cryo is really good for other things and muscle recoop that I love and saunas for simple peace) and continue to remain the flabalanche that I am.  I’ve hesitantly bought into programs where if I just drink this shake, I can magically melt off the pounds…. really just look at these before and after pictures of one of their clients yada yada yada. And have now had the horrible thought go through my head where I’ve reduced myself to giving up and thinking if I just go get a mommy make over now, could I possibly have enough time to recover and be perfect for my son’s wedding pictures? Every possible option has been entertained, hesitantly entered, jumped in head first 100% and still failed miserably.

Thousands of dollars spent and hundreds of pounds lost and gained and lost again and gained back… I’ve come to the conclusion that health and fitness is NOT a one size fits all solution. Until I did things the old fashioned way – the hard way – the long way – and even then, got hurt and have found myself starting over.

Each one of our bodies are different from the other and so are our genetics, our good habits, bad habits, every day physical behaviors, customs and beliefs. To get sucker punched hard enough to think that there is one magic pill, shake or exercise and diet program that can conquer this multifaceted dilemma is seriously far fetched.

What I write about in this blog is what my own personal family history, upbringing, genetics and experiences have brought me. It may NOT fit you. If you have just started reading this blog, go to the search box and type in “How it all started” and read the entries in chronological order, How It All Started I, How It All Started II and How It All Started III.

I’ve learned through the course of all this time, expense and great lessons is simple:

  1. Make better food choices: If God didn’t make it naturally, don’t eat it. If you ate something you aren’t supposed to and/or too much of it, just get up and get yourself back onto the band wagon and start over. We all fall down some time.
  2. Move: do something you like to do so it’s not such a downer chore. Gardening, Zumba, Soccer, Marathons, Triathlons, Hiking, Roller Blading, Walking, Crossfit, nigh club dancing… whatevs… just do something and do it consistently.
  3. Don’t compare yourself to others or yourself from way back when: I have ONE nemesis, 22 year old Myssie.   You remember that girl, the one who ate pizza and nachos and cheese puffs and still had the body to die for? Ugh! I hate that girl!!!!

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Simple huh?

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Yeah right. I’m still and will always be a work in progress. Always seeking out something fun to keep me active, and open to new ideas… yeah, even a shake weight. I do good on the food choices… MOST of the time and other times, eh, not so good.

I work – a lot. It’s not an excuse. It’s my personal priority at this moment. Yes, there IS a difference. I am a mom. It’s not an excuse. It’s a priority and although I’m not having to deal with changing diapers and lack of sleep like a new mom, I do deal with the stress of having a son being deployed, not knowing where he is, what he’s doing, if he’s healthy, hurt, etc… and another son who is a teenager in that stage where he is going through some of life’s most difficult challenges. I’m still a mom. It is my priority. I am also a wife. It’s not an excuse. It is a priority. His job is dangerous – like REALLY dangerous. I stress out about that, too. And equally dangerous is the temptation of countless other women who throw themselves at him in hopes that he gives them the life they see us have. It’s an endless, daily struggle balancing, prioritizing, executing, conquering, failing and doing it all over again day after day. I’m a stress eater… see where I’m going with this???

Get to know yourself, what sets you off, what is the root cause of your unhealthy behaviors and find solutions that work for you to chip away little by little to make yourself better each day.

If I sound like you… a working woman, midlife, tons of stress seeking ways to live a longer, healthier, happier life, follow/join me. Let’s try to help each other out. No subscription, no monthly payment, no book to buy, no club to join, no magic powder to put in your meal replacement shake. This is me. Just me. Wanting to help you. All of you. In hopes that in the end, we just all help each other help each other.

run walk or crawl

 

 

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Mother’s Day

Posted in Mom with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 14, 2017 by runmyssierun

Today I give thanks and honor to my mother and the many that mothered me.

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My mother – an amazing woman who managed to mold my perception of the world as one of love, happiness, and fun in all things, places and people. She had a brilliant mind, the voice of a song bird, the courage of a lion and the heart of a saint. She raved about how determined her own mother was in her eyes and in my eyes, I saw all that she said of her own mother. WORDS CANNOT CAPTURE HOW MUCH I MISS HER IN MY LIFE.

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My grandmother – a woman who was forced to grow up quickly during the war torn era of the Great Depression, she managed to help raise her youngest sister and paid for her to finish school by cutting hair and upholstering furniture while sacrificing her own education and opportunities. She was a fiercely determined woman of super human faith with a Sailor’s mouth that kept her family together, fed, alive, healthy… and adopted two more children because her heart truly was that awesome. And she managed to send all three children to private Catholic school, too.

China

My Aunt China (pronounced Chee-nah and not China like the country) aka Lucille Trevino – the first elected Hispanic woman in Hidalgo County, Texas, and the first woman who ingrained in me the love of costume jewelry and all that sparkles bold and dainty. China was a dignified, faith driven woman who stressed proper manners, vocalized her adoration of Pope John Paul II any chance she could get, was a staunch Democrat, loved a stiff drink occasionally and sweet chocolate bar or hard candy frequently. Because my Momma worked full-time, used her lunch hour to pick me up from school and drop me off at piano lessons, and used her nights to try to finish school, I spent the majority of my youth under the care of China… and Sissy, so I became much like them.

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My Sissy – If anyone in the world would be considered a “cool mom” it would be Sissy. The duties of a mom go way further than simply giving birth to a child. If you have taught someone to LOVE and LIVE, then you have been a mom. Sissy mommed hard and dare I say harder than most Moms I know today. She even grandmommed and godmommed harder than any other grandmother or godmother I have ever known. And if you are a follower of this blog, you’ve read several times that I credit Sissy with saving my own life by forcing me to take up running for her as her last wish. I owe her my everything and am forever grateful.

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My Dirty Gertie – always “mona” and a little bit off the cuff, this peleonera will not blink an eye to start a fight to defend the people she loves and she does not stop until she wins every fight.  Trust me, you don’t want to see that side of her. She will wear you down before she gives up and she NEVER gives up. For years I’ve heard of horror stories between women and their mother in laws. I am so blessed that this isn’t the case for me. Now, as I see myself as a new future mother in law, I see all that she has done to support me and her son and our little family in all that she did. I hope to keep her lessons in my heart and offer the same understanding and support to my future daughter in law.

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My Aunt Norma – she is a mom of boys but when I lost my own mother, she gracefully stepped in like a professional mom of a broken hearted princess and helped me heal as I watched the family I once knew and was so proud to be a part disappear. In matters of Real Estate, she was there to guide and discuss ideas and find solutions. In matters of family, she was there to listen and lend a shoulder to cry on. In matters of simple friendship, she was there to support. Moms are multifaceted super heros and she exemplified each part of being a mom even when she didn’t have to.

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Cyndi – probably my dearest and most treasured friend and relatively new mom who moms hard because this chick is a freaking awesome hot smarty pants know it all who can do it all – seriously no limits. When I worried and complained about having a baby at what I thought was late in life at 35, this girl had to one up me by having TWINS ten years later just to shut me up and prove to me it can be done AND show me that they are the cutest Gerber babies ever AND work full time AND have all her **** together… ok, well, most of her **** together and still jam out to awesome playlists.

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The Moms of PNO – taught me that as different as we all are, we share similarities in that we really love our children at a level that seems so different than so much of the rest of the world that surrounds us. They have taught me to love fiercely and fervently with a big stick, soft loving tone, chic style, proper grammar, a box of kleenex, belt busting belly laughs, everything thought and done under the eyes of God after a two mile jog, an hour of Mom-Fit, a glass of wine and a monogrammed matching sun hat kind of life. You just can’t get any more fabulous than these women that I am blessed to call my close friends. Each one is a treasure to me and offers a unique lesson to my heart that I hope to extend to my own children.

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Mother Mary – for years I struggled in confusion over the love and adoration that my own mother had with Mary. It wasn’t until recently that I have come to understand it (thanks to ACTs and an epic epiphany) and hope to grow it. While all the other women written about above this name are incredible pillars of strength and ideals to me, Mary is who I hope most to emulate. If I struggled for so many years to understand her, I imagine it will take even longer – if ever even possible – to purposefully live my life like hers.

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My sons and husband – these are my everything. They are the keepers of my heart, my source of joy and meaning. I’ve messed up a lot in my life and they have patiently loved me anyway. I’ve done some pretty awesome things in my life for them and for myself, and they loved me anyway. Whether selfish or selfless my actions or absence of actions were, the love is always always always constant and I am always always always seeking to improve on the way I mom because they deserve the absolute best mom from me.

I know I mentioned a lot of people but honestly, so many are missing from here. Teachers, God parents, friends, neighbors, bosses and co-workers….

You have all mommed me hard and loved me unconditionally. Thank you. Celebrate your day today and every day. Your love does not go unnoticed nor uncherished.

Happy Mother’s Day!

 

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On this day…

Posted in cancer, Mom, training for my first half ironman, Uncategorized on April 8, 2017 by runmyssierun

It was five years ago today, right this very moment, that I crawled into bed with my Momma, held her hand, smoothed her hair back and whispered into her ear that it was ok to let go of us and stop the pain she was in. I remember hearing what the hospice nurses called the “death rattle”. I was the only one in the room with her in the end.
A few nights before, she had become quite antsy and restless. It was difficult for her to walk but she was adamant about going from her bed to the living room to watch TV on the couch. I lifted her up and walked her over, carefully holding her under her shoulders just incase she fell along the way. It was about 3:00 a.m. This would be the last time that she would have a conversation with me.
“I’m so sorry you have to see me go through this,” she said.
After I gathered my will and a bit of silence passed, I responded “I’m so glad it’s me you allowed to see you go through this.” I laid my head down on her frail bony shoulder as we sat on the couch together and she held me in her arms for the last time that night.
April 8, 2012, Easter Sunday, five years ago today… If you believe in the biblical story of Jesus Christ and know about the time when he began his journey of suffering, of crucifixion and death…it matches exactly the same time frame that Momma followed that day. I truly believe in the deepest part of my heart that she chose that day and that time to join her Lord and Mother Mary for that reason. I wish with all my might I could have faith and strength like hers.
I held her hand as she took her last breath.
No other honor in my life time can ever surpass that honor. I now live my life trying to smile like her no matter how hard it gets. I now live my life reflecting all that she taught me no matter what anyone else tells me. I now live my life like hers so that my children can feel the love that I felt for her.
I love you Momma.
The miles I run for you will always be Mimi’s Miles. Cancer picked the wrong woman.

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Body, Mind & Soul…the REAL Triathlon workout

Posted in ACTS, cancer, half ironman, health & fitness, ironman, Mom, rgv, rio grande valley, Running, team in training, texas, training for my first half ironman, triathlon, triathlon training, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 28, 2017 by runmyssierun

I started this blog to share candid experiences of my personal journey with cancer and how I used marathons and triathlons as my soap box for awareness and a toolbox for fundraising. What I didn’t expect coming was the impact both would have inside of me… my soul.

So let’s talk first about FAILURE. Sure I entered my first marathon thinking that if I could show God how much I was sacrificing and how hard I was pushing myself to run TWENTY SIX POINT TWO miles that He would spare my Momma’s life and cure her cancer and all would be back to normal. Well, that didn’t work out the way I planned, huh?

Three full marathons, seven half marathons, thirteen triathlons, lost count of all the 5ks and 10ks and still… three DNFs

FAILURE

I was made fun of. I could have stayed quiet about it all and avoided the whole thing and the humiliation that came with it but I gave myself rules from the beginning and I did my best to stick to them:

No complaining. I had no right since I knew Momma had gone through so much – cancer treatment, surgeries, expenses, the loss of her sister and the loss of her only son. I had no right to complain.

Momma and her crown before her surgery

Be vulnerable and honest. If I was going to put it out there, I was going to go all out so that others could connect, understand, share, help and get the conversation and ultimately the movement of human compassion started.

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Never ever give up. This was the most difficult. Since I was never an athlete, it was hard for me to gauge the difference between soreness and injury. Not allowing myself to heal correctly and pushing myself because of my determination was the perfect combination for muscle injury.  When all the progress I made was thrown out the window because of my stubborn stupidity, it was humiliating and humbling to find myself right back at square one… overweight and out of shape.

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Oh but not all was failure. I did something pretty amazing. I did something that so many people never thought I could do… including myself. I accomplished physical feats that few attempt because of fear of failure. I accomplished getting a community to give of themselves for others so that a dollar here and a thousand dollars there could help someone in need… and we never even had to know who that person was. It was only important that they got a chance to live longer, happier, and healthier even if just for a moment. I accomplished a conversation that continues today… and important one. One that changed the way we treat, cure and charge for those services. I was a part of it. I did not sit on the sidelines of life. I was a part of this movement. It was just a little bit but it was MY bit and although it may not have been much, it gave me purpose, helped others and showed my children the example that my mother showed me.

 

The entire journey, I referenced God and angels and miracles and “signs” on a daily basis but something was missing. A connection was still missing… no no no… correction…

The connection was always there… I was just too blind to see it.

I knew what I needed to do. I always knew. I think all of you did, too. So this weekend it happened.

I attended the same retreat that my mother attended that set her soul on fire and strengthened her faith like no other I’ve ever met. That hand sign I throw at races was the hand sign she threw at me when she returned from her retreat. It means “I love you” in American sign language. It was an ACTS retreat and although I didn’t not attend it at the Shrine the way she did, I was able to attend it at my home church with the Priest that raised me and 71 other women whom were all strangely and purposefully meant to be with me this weekend.

Crossing the finish line of my first full marathon, witnessing my son graduate and choose to serve his country, giving birth, marrying the love of my life, winning my first crown, experiencing my first kiss… these life moments now have a new addition to my collection of favorite life memories. ACTS is officially a part of this collection.

The journey that this blog is based on began in 2011. But this week marks my true beginning. I now have all three “sports” in my line up and fully intend to workout each – MIND BODY & SOUL – to become the ultimate triathlete, the one He always intended for me to become.

And now, most importantly of all… I have mentioned “I” a whole bunch in this post. None of it was done alone by just “I”.  From the very, very beginning there was my FAMILY, there was our team of DOCTORS AND MEDICAL STAFF, there was TEAM IN TRAINING and THE LEUKEMIA AND LYMPHOMA SOCIETY and THE AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY, there was the incredibly long list of SPONSORS, DONORS and VOLUNTEERS, there were numerous RUN GROUPS, COACHES, and TEAMMATES, CO-WORKERS, and seriously freaking awesome FRIENDS who joined me, there were my SONS and my HUSBAND and my FATHER who joined me in training or 5ks or followed me at my 2nd full marathon or helped throw orange paint at the Color Dash, and then there were 71 SISTERS IN CHRIST and HIM who never left my side… ever.

I’ve said it from the beginning… this was never just about me. This has always been about something much bigger… way bigger than just me.

As each phase in this journey has evolved, peaked and molded my life, I have seen the world of cancer change, my personal health change and that of my community, too, and ultimately the love of my family, friends and yes, my spirituality change immensely.

And for all of this… I thank you. So here I go again…a little quieter, a bit more purposeful and a whole lot stronger.  I invite you to join me if you are also ready to get over that fear, too.

 

 

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Viva Bike Vegas – the Triple Crown

Posted in cancer, cycling, Mom, Running, triathlon with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 2, 2015 by runmyssierun

My vicious, super duper mean spin cycling RPM instructor from Gold’s Gym posted on my facebook wall today that he removed all the coveted finisher award shirts from the gym members today… except mine.

Joey Williams took a picture of my shirt in his cycling studio and posted it on my wall... this... this meant sooo much to me. Thank you Joey! Thank you Gold's Gym!!!

Joey Williams took a picture of my shirt in his cycling studio and posted it on my wall… this… this meant sooo much to me. Thank you Joey! Thank you Gold’s Gym!!!

That shirt… wow. That shirt is so treasured. It symbolizes EVERYTHING I had done. All the blood, sweat and tears to keep my promise to Momma & Sissy. The 40-plus some non-athletic anti-gym rat with absolutely NO experience took on THE toughest 100-mile bike in America and I was able to do so with Joey pushing me harder and harder every dang morning at that class… making me stay longer, turning my gears two to three times more than anyone elses so that he could make sure my legs were ready for those mountains. The triple crown is significant because it symbolizes to me and to everyone around me in this journey that nothing is impossible so long as you have passion and support. I was way out of my league in EVERY single event I attempted but I didn’t give up. I trained right for all that I did and was surrounded by countless experiences supporters that believed in what I was doing. Together, we did it. That shirt is not mine. That crown is not mine. Those awards, donations, treatments, lives saved are not mine… they belong to all of us. Re-reading the blog post for Viva Bike Vegas and watching the video of the three sisters on the Silverman trail… I still can’t believe that I did that. Wow!

Just the first few minutes of this video, you hear from the greats themselves how difficult this is!!!

https://youtu.be/AZlbjOo-2yk

RunMyssieRun

You have to be brave with your life
So that others can be brave with theirs

The moment was here. I boarded the plane knowing that quitting was NOT an option.

“Fasten your seatbelts. The captain just said he was going to try something new.” – Southwest Airlines Flight Attendant and part-time comedian. He kept my nerves at bay with his comedy act over the loud speaker.

After a few delayed hours of flight, I went straight to Las Vegas Cyclery to pick up my “Mimi”. To the person who has never ridden an awesome road bike before, the relationship between me and my custom built Felt bike is probably perceived as a bit coo-coo. And to those people I have to say “so what?”. “Mimi” was beautifully reassembled and rolled out to me with unanimous comments from the bike store staff gasping “Your bike is wicked!” – yes, I…

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A Starry Night

Posted in cancer, Mom with tags , , , , , , , on May 15, 2015 by runmyssierun

I got a text on my phone over lunch… “call me at your earliest convenience”

Hmmm…. in the business of my business, this means “Call me NOW” in the most polite way possible. So I called immediately. It was from the American Cancer Society office. Miss Lovely advised me that there were some changes in the event, program and promotion of Cattle Baron’s Ball…

She sent this link to me

https://www.yumpu.com/en/embed/view/6RpGflRqG09WOht5

Wow!

This is really happening. This is REALLY happening!

For two days now, I’ve been getting the most incredible emails, texts and phone calls from people of decades ago that she helped find jobs when the Levi’s plant closed down when she worked at Texas Employment Commission or from those she helped find financing for their first home that they bought when she was a Realtor or from those she prayed for in their time of need with Catholic Daughters. This is it. This is when it all comes together.

The journey so far has been on a winding caliche unpaved road.  I am now at an elevator and all I have to do is push a button. But if I’m not careful, it can also all come crashing down.

I’m so excited and scared at the same time. I hope I get it right for her and for all she hoped for.

   
         

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