Archive for stress

Shark Bait Who-Ha-Ha

Posted in training for my first half ironman with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 16, 2016 by runmyssierun

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Still I Rise

Maya Angelou, 19282014

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

From And Still I Rise by Maya Angelou. Copyright © 1978 by Maya Angelou. Reprinted by permission of Random House, Inc.

 

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Stress, Signs of Stroke and staying sane while training

Posted in training for my first half ironman with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 28, 2016 by runmyssierun

This last month has been quite eventful. If your life is anything like mine, events can be a bit overwhelming. Balancing everyday life, family, work and training is always a challenge so adding any type of unplanned occurrence on top of what already beats you up can quickly beat you down. I can’t say I learned a new lesson from it but I can say a lesson sure was reinforced this month and culminated to a point to where I had to force myself to step out of the Capital of Texas Triathlon.

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On Saturday the 14th, our family lost it’s patriarch. The death of this great man was not a great surprise. Our great Lord took about a month for his loved ones to get used to the idea of living life without him. However, no matter how much in advance notice you are given, when the death of a loved one happens, it still hurts and the lives of those who remain are forever changed. Being so relatively close to the deaths I had already experienced made me go toe to toe with some dark moments I probably wasn’t ready to deal with yet.

I guess I had wanted to convince myself that I had healed and that I could overcome the pain and grief that death brings that I found myself holding in emotion and trying desperately to show nothing but strength and determination. Truth be told, I’m still pretty squishy and soft inside. Clearly the stress got to me.

Early last week, I noticed my right ankle was swollen. It concerned me but thought little of it since I had been traveling so much lately. Because of time constraints, we had gone through a Jack in the Box drive thru and I ordered a teriyaki rice bowl on the 13th (a  day before my father-in-law’s passing) and that night had two beers at The Cure concert we attended. I chalked the swelling up to a combination of the hours sitting, the MSG in the to-go order and the beer.

On May 17th, the swelling had not stopped. In fact, it got worse. So when my left side became numb and my hands got tingly and the headache throbbed and my vision blurry… I knew I couldn’t ignore the symptoms any longer and I was in danger.

KNOW THE SIGNS OF STROKE (click here for the symptoms)

I calmly told one trusted co-worker what was happening to me. I told her what I was going to do and to check in on me at a specific time. I instructed her to tell my husband what had been happening if she did not hear from me because I did not want him to have additional worries until I knew exactly what was going on with me. I went immediately to my cardiologist.


I can’t thank my medical team enough. Many of them are athletes themselves and understand all too well the emotions, concerns and questions I have as it pertains to my health and well being. Coupled with their medical knowledge, I go to them just as often or more than I go to my triathlon coaches and gurus.

Not one of us are immune to the dangers of heart disease or stroke. And just because we can finish marathons or triathlons or gazilliathons does not make us less of a candidate for heart attack or stroke. 

Doc told me that he was very impressed with the way I had changed my life to make better food choices and incorporate fitness into my daily life style. However, there comes a point where sometimes genetics becomes a bigger player in many of our lives and medication is needed to better control your health. Next week, we will have a clearer picture on the blood clots that plague me but until then, it is best that I sit this next triathlon out and cheer on my courageous triathlete amigos from my home.

10257690_10154247617120068_4653284247583456940_oCapTexTri is one of my absolute favorite triathlons to do. It is one of the best courses, incredibly well organized, publicly cheered, fun-filled events in Texas. Whether you are a first time triathlete or a seasoned champion, this one is always a favorite event for both and everyone in between to participate in. Best of luck to all this weekend!!!

And again, let my lesson sink in. None of us are immune. Get checked up regularly and listen to your body. Last week at Ironman Chattanooga, a very experienced triathlete fell to cardiac arrest during the swim portion of that triathlon. As I look back at my own experience in Galveston, I now see the signs during my own swim and how it could have ended so much more tragically than a simply DNF. Everything happens for a reason. I truly believe this and will do my best to remember not to fight the signs from God too much from now on.

 

The Heart of the Matter

Posted in cancer, Mom, Running, triathlon with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 6, 2015 by runmyssierun

I’ve been feeling like a broken record these last few months when it comes to stress. It’s been punching me from all sides.

I spent Saturday with Dad working on his website for his Real Estate business and finally got some good opportunities to be a daughter again. Things have been a bit awkward lately.

He took me out for lunch afterwards and we got to talking… and before I knew it, I was just spilling out my guts to him like I hadn’t ever before of how I was desperately trying to keep everything together, calm, cool and collected. I’m not pompous enough to say that the pressure I deal with is more than the pressure anyone else deals with but I was lucky enough to have found a healthy outlet to allow me to peacefully escape from pressure and find serenity in my life where I can calmly find solutions to problems or accept those problems and move on… all on two wheels.

And that’s when he stopped me… “Your neck is breaking out in a rash again.” I had been talking about all that had been stressing me out how I was trying not to make matters worse but I just didn’t know… I don’t know how to be like Momma. She would have known how to deal. She would know. She would have been able to stop things before they go to this level.

My Momma’s neck would break out in hives when she had high blood pressure and got excited, angry, scared, etc.

I had indigestion at night for weeks. I was gaining weight. I wasn’t working out like I had the year before. My close friends and family and breakfast club that I had leaned on for years were gone or scattered all over the globe with problems of their own. I was surrounded by people who insist on keeping troubles to yourself. And so I did.

And it’s backfired.

KABOOM

When I went running last week, I felt myself compensating on my right side. That night, I couldn’t sleep because my hip would send shock waves from my toes to my head. My indigestion was making me nauseous and I was thirsty, so thirsty! And so tired but couldn’t sleep. I’d go to the bathroom and just a trickle of dark urine would escape and I was so constipated and bloated that laying any which way on the bed would be agonizingly uncomfortable. My ankles were always swollen and this sounds funny… but I actually feel the water under my skin all over my body! And my headaches… oh my headaches made me so dizzy that I didn’t even want to read books or skim through pinterest, watch TV or keep my eyes open!

Those are a lot of symptoms!!!

After squirming on the couch, it was suggested that I see a chiropractor and that may be the reason I was compensating on my run. Hmmmm

Made sense.  I guess I better start checking these symptoms off and see a doc about them.

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So I went to Dr. Martin Chiropractors – just ONE of the doctors I made appointments to visit. I did NOT expect what happened to happen. You know the first thing you do when you go into a Docs office, right? They give you tons of paper work, weigh you and get your blood pressure.

My blood pressure was through the roof!!!! The look that the nurse gave me was all the instruction I needed. I am normally a person with very LOW blood pressure – which is not healthy either but to be this high was extremely unlike me. SOMETHING’S WRONG.SOMETHING’S VERY VERY WRONG.

I took tons of exams and x rays while I was there and Doc comes in with the results and discusses options for continuing my goal towards Ironman.

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I have two curvatures in my spine that had been creating these problems in my stride. I have high cholesterol and high blood pressure again. With all that I had been doing… my doomed body returned bigger and badder than ever.

Here we go now!!! Adding another team of doctors to my list of guardian angels.

You can eat all the right things. You can do all the right things. And sometimes genes and heredity still give you a good fight. Now, let me be clear about this… I’m not saying give up, we all die anyway… I’m saying do it right – live life the best way possible – because everyone dies but only those of us lucky enough for it to click get to really live life to it’s fullest. I can smile as I look back on all I have done, all I have learned, all I have met, all I have befriended, all I have inspired and all that is yet to come.

The nurse didn't believe that I had squiggly veins. After a few tries she was able to capture a few vials of my fatty blood.

The nurse didn’t believe that I had squiggly veins. After a few tries she was able to capture a few vials of my fatty blood.

And then the thought flutters through my mind… if I had not started exercising and eating better, how far back ago would high cholesterol and high blood pressure have taken my life? I look back at the Myssie of 2011 and how horrible she felt inside and out. There’s no way that Myssie experienced the happiness that Myssie of 2012-2014 felt.

I suddenly felt like the world came to a screeching halt. But my world doesn’t stop for me. It stops for my family and my loved ones.

I got two phone calls… one that said my uncle was at the hospital. He had a stroke. The other phone call was that another dear friend of mine was just diagnosed with breast cancer.

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My heart is broken. My arteries are clogged. My mind is scrambling. My muscles are strained. And my back is bent.. but not broken.  The fight to be healthy and cancer free keeps punching the lights outta me. God, I don’t know what you’re trying to do and don’t know where you’re leading me but I’m not sure I’m strong enough to do this again.

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