Sooooo I had an interesting conversation the other day with an extremely experienced super athlete. Honest to God, I truly tried to hold my temper and sarcasm but I know it didn’t take long for my squeaky high pitched voice to mimic that of Karen Walker’s.
“Face it Myssie, you aren’t getting any younger. Your times are not going to get better. If my …. times can’t get better, then yours won’t either.”– I’ll leave their name out of it.
Ok… so maybe I am old. OK… so maybe I’m not a naturally gifted athlete. OK… so maybe my times will never get better.
What in the world makes someone think that it’s ok to squish the hope of someone else just because THEY can’t do it themselves? Their light will not shine any brighter by trying to dim someone else’s. I would NEVER tell someone that they can’t climb a mountain just because I haven’t climbed a mountain.
People like this drive me nuts! Now, I’d like to think that I’m a pretty positive and strong person but if people like this go about their day ranting to anyone gullible enough to believe just one ounce of this shhhhiii….tttuuuffffff, well then no wonder we have so many emotionally damaged people around us!!! Seriously, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all! I really don’t care if it’s true or not. I love the Rotary 4-way test:
1. Is it the truth? 2. Is it fair to all concerned? 3. Will it build goodwill and better friendships? 4. Will it be beneficial to all concerned?
Taste your words before they leave your lips.
Whether you believe it’s coincidence or another sign from my guardian angels around me.. this was the very first article that was on my Klout (p.s. have you added me as your “influencer” on the subject of triathlon and/or cancer on Klout? – please do) feed this morning when I logged in:
She’s older than I am. However, just like me… she signed up for a triathlon before even knowing how to swim! AND SHE DID IT! And so did I! And we’re OLD! She finished last in her age group last year and hopes to improve. I finished 3rd to the last in my age group and I hope to improve.
I’m going to be real… I know I will not podium this Sunday at Stanley’s Triathlon. The age group that I am in have some incredibly seasoned triathletes with surreal times. In fact, the woman who won the entire women’s category was in my age group. I believe in my heart of hearts that my time WILL improve but still will likely not be enough to medal. And, trust me, I’m ok with that. Here’s why…
For the first time in my Team in Training history, I will not be using my “Mimi” – my custom Felt bike. I rode “Neo” – the Cervelo that was donated to me recently – for the first time a few days ago and felt very fast. I rode the course on both bikes and actually felt better in Neo. I will practice mounting and dismounting the bike tomorrow afternoon but even with the practice, let’s be honest… every athlete knows better than to use ANYTHING new right before a race. This is a gamble for me. But I’m also in the mindset that I am using Stanley’s Triathlon as a practice tri for CapTexTri in May. If ever there was an opportunity to see if I can handle Neo under fire, it’s on Sunday.
I am officially one of the “gang” now, eh? Honored but I’ll always prefer the BRC. š
IF I do well, I can guarantee it will be because of the time made up on the bike, the experience and training all this year, and the amazing positive encouragement from my fellow peers who will likely be cheering me on along the streets of the course. IF I don’t do well… it’s because the jerk was right. I’m too old and my time won’t ever get better. I’m not getting any younger afterall.
Ahhhhh but here’s the reality of it all… regardless of the outcome, I will continue to TRY to make myself better. Because what TRULY matters is NOT whether or not I make it onto that podium and it is NOT even about my time getting better, or keeping cadence king or having proper swim form or running chi… it’s about someone who is scared to death right this moment because they just received the news that they have cancer.
I don’t give a damn how old I am… I’m gonna fight for them.
Sarah doesn’t care how old I am. She just wants to live a cancer-free life.
These are the Cyclepaths exactly one year ago at our very first triathlon. Only 2 of us in that photo did not participate in that triathlon because we did our first triathlon the very next day. One year later, all but 3 of us pictured here have completed at least a Half-Ironman. We are all one year older… and all their times got better.
Wow! What a wish I had!!! It’s half way through the day and my Facebook has exploded!!!! The number of well wishes are overwhelming. And the sentiments shared via private message are beyond surreal.
Best of all… The donations are trickling in $10 by $10!!!! Last I checked this morning between meetings I was just over One Thousand dollars!!! Incredible!!!
Thank you! Thank you everyone for proving to me and the world that what I have been doing has not been in vain.
My brother was once asked if he thought his glass was half empty or half full. He responded with “My cup runneth over.”
And that’s exactly how I feel today.
Thank you!!! Keep those donations coming!!! Please! Together we can help makes other birthdays a reality.
Wow! What a wish I had!!! It’s half way through the day and my Facebook has exploded!!!! The number of well wishes are overwhelming. And the sentiments shared via private message are beyond surreal.
Best of all… The donations are trickling in $10 by $10!!!! Last I checked this morning between meetings I was just over One Thousand dollars!!! Incredible!!!
Thank you! Thank you everyone for proving to me and the world that what I have been doing has not been in vain.
My brother was once asked if he thought his glass was half empty or half full. He responded with “My cup runneth over.”
And that’s exactly how I feel today.
Thank you!!! Keep those donations coming!!! Please! Together we can help makes other birthdays a reality.
“Nashville” Star Charles Esten Plays “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” with a Mission in Mind
NEW YORK (November 14, 2013)Ā – Actor Charles Esten, who portrays Deacon Claybourne on the hit ABC series “Nashville,” will appear as a contestant on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” with new host Cedric “The Entertainer” in episodes airingWednesday, November 20 and Thursday, November 21, and will donate his winnings to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS). Esten makes “Millionaire” history by becoming the first celebrity contestant ever to make it all the way to the $1 million question on the daytime version of the show! Will he go for it? Tune in November 20 and 21 to find out!
Esten will donate all of his winnings to LLS, the world’s largest voluntary health organization dedicated to funding cures and ensuring access to treatments for blood cancer patients. Esten’s 13-year-old daughter, Addie, was diagnosed with leukemia at age 2 1/2 and, thanks to advances in treatment, is thriving today. Because of their personal connection to blood cancer, Chip, his wife Patty, and the entire Esten clan are strong supporters of LLS.
“It was a dark and scary day when we found out that our Addie had leukemia. The first ray of light was the reassurance from our doctor that there was hope – there were medicines and procedures that could help our little girl. All that hope, and all that help, came from research?research made possible with funds raised by LLS and other organizations. That’s why we’re so thankful and committed to LLS. I’m excited that a fun experience on ?Millionaire? can be used to raise money and recognize the serious work of LLS, which is making a positive difference for blood cancer patients and their families.”
“We have one goal:Ā A world without blood cancers,” states LLS President & CEO John Walter.Ā “To date, we have invested nearly $1 billion in research to advance therapies and save lives. We are so grateful to Chip Esten and his family for their support to show that we are helping to save lives not someday, but today.”
“Millionaire” airs weekdays in national syndication.Ā Check local listings or go tohttp://www.millionairetv.comĀ for time and channel.
Click hereĀ to view photo of Esten on “Millionaire” set.
About “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” As America?s richest game show, “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” continues to be the only game show to offer a $1 million prize to each and every contestant. Since “Millionaire” debuted in syndication in 2002, contestants have won over $80 million! “Millionaire” is produced by Valleycrest Productions Ltd. and is distributed by Disney-ABC Domestic Television. Rich Sirop is the executive producer. “Millionaire” is taped at Metropolis Studios (106 & Park) in New York City.
About The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society The mission of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) is to cure leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma, and improve the quality of life of patients and their families. LLS funds lifesaving blood cancer research around the world, provides free information and support services, and is the voice for all blood cancer patients seeking access to quality, affordable, coordinated care.
Founded in 1949 and headquartered in White Plains, NY, LLS has chapters throughout the United States and Canada. To learn more, visitĀ www.lls.org. Patients should contact the Information Resource Center at (800) 955-4572, Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. ET.
You have to be brave with your life
So that others can be brave with theirs
The moment was here. I boarded the plane knowing that quitting was NOT an option.
“Fasten your seatbelts. The captain just said he was going to try something new.” – Southwest Airlines Flight Attendant and part-time comedian. He kept my nerves at bay with his comedy act over the loud speaker.
After a few delayed hours of flight, I went straight to Las Vegas Cyclery to pick up my “Mimi”. To the person who has never ridden an awesome road bike before, the relationship between me and my custom built Felt bike is probably perceived as a bit coo-coo. And to those people I have to say “so what?”. “Mimi” was beautifully reassembled and rolled out to me with unanimous comments from the bike store staff gasping “Your bike is wicked!” – yes, I know š
I was able to meet up with Rodney’s family for dinner. (Rodney was one of my best friends in High School that lost his battle to cancer just a few months before he was to stand up with me at my wedding – He was beyond phenomenal.) Dinner was fabulous. I had the best seared ahi tuna salad ever! Yes, I was starving and am a nervous emotional eater. I scarfed the whole thing down.
Rhonda, Rodney’s sister, took me to the local convenience store to pick up some zip ties and crazy glue. I have a feeling that the store clerk thought I was a serial killer. My bike’s water bottle holder had snapped in half during the flight over. I had to find some way to jimmy it back. Nevada is way too hot to have just one bottle of water for 104 miles.
My McGyver skills are pretty impressive. (I watched a lot of TV as a kid)
I drank a full bottle of pedialyte, lots of bed rest the day before and nibbles of fresh fruit all day long, steamed veggies and a pasta dinner, one choco chip cookie and nonstop water all week long (with of course my coffee in the morning – I know I know but that’s my vice).
I was a little nervous because I had mentally prepared for a practice ride on Friday morning with the national Team in Training and it was cancelled last minute. However, I did get to meet the North Texas TNT bike team who seemed VERY nice and willing to adopt me on Saturday to make sure I was comfortable and around people I knew – just in case.
Inspiration dinner was tear-filled and amazing. Ryan (my national Flex team director) had surprised us with photos of our loved ones that we were all cycling for. It was quite touching. I had a hard time finishing my dinner. They had me stand for applause and couldn’t look up at all. I have a hard time letting people see me cry. Momma wouldn’t allow any of us to see her cry when she was in treatment. I try really hard to be as strong as she was. I still have yet to be able to be that strong. They did get me to laugh as they “crowned” me later that night with paper burger king crowns all stacked one on top of the other. But we all know who really deserves the real crown. I will always bow down to her.
Saturday morning came and I was well prepared. My time trial landed me in the first wave however the North Texas team was in the 4th wave start and the National team was in the 3rd. My virtual coach said I could go down a few waves and placed me in the 3rd wave start with the other national team members and closer to the Texas team. I had a start time of 7:40 a.m. Later than I expected. Hotter than I predicted.
A wind advisory was issued that day and prior to leaving the start, advised everyone to change their aero tires if possible.
I got a bit more nervous at that point.
Ok, now that you have the back ground, here’s the nitty gritty.
I made my way to the start line with a few thousand of my new friends. The sun was itching to come out and play over the horizon. It shined just enough to illuminate the taunting of the start line.
From mile 7 to mile 30-some it was an uphill battle. It was tough. THE toughest thing I’ve EVER done! No words can describe the brutality. The winds varied 18-40 mph against me and never once were at my back!!! I stayed on my saddle the entire time and knew the exact moment I entered the Red Rock Canyon because the wind and the heat sucked out all the moisture from my mouth, skin and eyeballs.
The incline grade here obviously increased. I mashed much more than expected and my heart broke when I looked down four times at my Garmin to see 7mph, 6mph, 5mph and yes, 4mph. But I made it to the top. It took me almost FOUR hours to climb that mountain!!! Four hours for just thirty miles. Ok, so I did take my time being a winter texan and took a ton of scenic tourist pictures (see above). But four freakin hours was way longer than I planned. But I wasn’t sagged!!! I saw one after another go down. Exhaustion and heat took some of the best. It was quite intimidating. I caught myself yelling out “Chemo is harder! Chemo is harder!”. Ā It helped me put things into perspective quickly.
I went deep into the dangerous hidden parts of my memory. All those days I was a hallway away from where I knew Momma was being fed poison, throwing up, wanting to cry and double up from the pain she was going through… but didn’t because she knew she had to endure in order to survive. We were a hallway away from each other and she knew I was scared. I knew she was scared. So she’d text me photos of her smiling trying to convince me that she was doing fine. It was that memory that fueled me. As I spotted the photographers along the course, I smiled for her the same way she smiled for me…. even while in pain.
Remember my attitude coming in? So, I figured, ok, the hard part is over. It’s literally all down hill from here. My legs are feeling the pain but I’m not injured and I’m not super sore and heck ya I can do this! (p.s. I was sooooo wrong for thinking it was that easy… the hard part was much further away)
Then I see a sign. Albeit a misspelled sign but I got the message. “Be safe fast decent”
I had worried so much about climbing that I hadn’t ever really gone over how to handle declining a mountain nor had I had the opportunity to practice it at such a pitch!!! I was scared and basically rode the brakes almost the entire 30 miles down the mountain. This hurt my make up time I had figured into my total. I barely made the cut off time at the bottom of the mountain. You had to make it or else they’d re-direct you to the metric century course. The race director smiled at me and said “Texas, there’s a wind advisory going on just as you turn the corner here. Are you ok with that?” (They nick named me Texas) “Yes, sir, Wind and heat are the only things I was able to train for properly in Texas” I replied.
He assigned a mentor alumni from Kansas to stick by me but I have say it was a great feeling to drop them once that wind came in. They couldn’t handle it. I went back up to my normal 15-18mph speed against the wind. It was just like home. But that’s when my battery went dead on my phone. The iOs7 update sucked up all my battery life faster than predicted. If something should happen to me, there was no way I could contact a sag vehicle, coach, teammate, friend, husband or dad. At the next rest stop I ran into a huge Kansas team that adopted me. After that, I saw the Texas team and they insisted that I join them for safety reasons. I agreed under the circumstances. The time was about 2:00 and the winds really picked up. I saw three cyclists go down with the wind as we made turns. Bikes shattered and shoulders and wrists broke. Fear consumed us all but it overwhelmed three of the Texas team members and they were made up of mostly Marine families and held the motto firmly… they would not leave a team member, they would do this together. Their speed went down to 6mph against the wind. I began to regret my decision to join the Texas team. It was actually HARDER to ride slowly than it was at the 15-18mph that I was used to. BUT if something should happen to me, they were right. It was safer for me to stick with a group and they were all I had. It killed me to go this slow. The heat sizzled my legs. I had gargantuan salt crystals forming around my nose and eyes. Each time I wiped them off, more would grow back bigger than the last. My mouth was so dry and I could feel my lips crisp up. I didn’t have sun block but I did have spf chap stick. I used my pockets for fuel and not sun block. Big mistake.
Because elevations were my initial fear, I remember the 30-mile mark being the biggest and longest obstacle, another peak would be around mile 70 and the last kick in the shin would be around the 90 mile mark with the steepest incline of the entire course. I was at the 90 mile mark and all of a sudden the course went off road. THIS WAS NOT EXPECTED!!! Have to admit that a smile overtook my face when I realized that Wally’s Hell of the South race really was the perfect training. THIS was the steepest incline and decline of the day. Google the three sisters of River Mountain Trail. I felt like an unpaid stunt man!!!
this is a link to a video of the three sisters
IT WAS THE BIGGEST RUSH OF MY LIFE! The video does it no justice!!! I hit 37 mph (some of my teammates argue that it was close to 45 that we hit but I never had the guts to look at the Garmin on my wrist). After this, it was flat windy hot and boring. I went from “That was AWWWWEEEESOME! I’m gonna do this again!” to “I can’t wait for this to be over! How far away are we from the finish line? Are we there yet? I’m never doing this again.” I was hot, exhausted, thirsty, crispy, cranky and wanted to go faster!!!! One of the Texas members fell over and began throwing up. The team stayed behind with him. I HAD to go forward. This slow pace was driving me bonkers and we were so close to the finish. I was already 2 1/2 hours behind my predicted schedule and wanted to get off my saddle now!!! My feet were sore from mashing so hard up hill and my fingers were numb from gripping the brakes down those sisters. I finished strong and eager to just get it over with and surprised to see 400 team members and the Medinas at the finish line waiting for me with cheers and a crown!!!!
In summary, I am injury free. The only real sore part I’m dealing with is my neck and shoulders. My nutrition and hydration was perfect. My training was spot on. Had I mastered the confidence to conquer the uphill and downhill, I would have made much better time. Had I decided to stick with the Kansas team, my time would have been much more like my training time. (Texas would NOT go over 8 mph) Had I remembered to stick sun block in my back pockets I would not have snake skin on my legs and nose right now.
I had dinner that night with some of the race volunteers. The Sag driver told me “I sagged one of the contributors of Bicycle magazine!! Take that to the bank!” another bike coach told me “I’ve done over 30 century rides in my life and never once have I seen one this difficult.”
John Bingham shared some wise words last year over dinner right before my first marathon. He said “You are a long distance endurance athlete.”
John Bingham “The Penguin” and Myssie Cardenas Barajas. Read his blog – The Penguin Chronicles
He told us how he earned his nickname “The Penguin”. I could relate. He described himself as waddling like a penguin all throughout the race… but he finished. He’s never been first but he always finished. I could relate.
Maybe I’m a penguin, too.
I remember my mother giving me a poem on the first day of college. It was about a turtle. She told me to take my time and observe as much as I could to take it all in. She told me to stick my neck out for what I believed in and that no matter what, the shell of love that she built around me would protect me. She raised me to be a turtle like her.
Maybe I’m a turtle, too.
When first going out for my swims in the pool, I was taught by my son to not splash… at all. I took everyone’s advice to heart and tried with all my might to do it all as perfectly as I could. I was called “the little mermaid” because of it. I thought it was cute at first but now I see myself differently.
I’m really really still very very slow. I had my swim evaluation done earlier this week. My form was good for the amount of time I had been swimming. In six short months, I kept my elbows high, my breathing was good, I was skimming the water, my kicks needed some work and I need more power in my stroke but all in all… I was doing well.
One thing for sure… I am NOT a mermaid. After reviewing the video of myself swimming, I looked like I was swimming in molasses. I know… I know… it wasn’t about speed on that day. It was about form. Regardless, I couldn’t help but think about the Beetles song…
The song makes as much sense as my life right now. It’s confusing, entertaining and much like a scene right out of Alice in Wonderland, I’ve found myself going down some crazy rabbit hole swimming through my own tears and off to a race that never seems to end and hoping that when I wake, it’ll all make sense to me.
The wonderful solid part of this week was getting the news that Kristina was well on her way to become a permanent list member of the cancer beaters club. You can read about her journey on her blog here. The day before Kristina made her news public, Taylor made her announcement as well!
Unfortunately, David (our honored hero for this season’s Team in Training) is back at MD Anderson for the second time fighting stage 2 lymphoma. The good thing is that great things happen in threes š
David Mendez and Sarah Morales – TNT’s honored heros
So off I go again… slow but determined, for something much much bigger than just me. I am a penguin. I am a turtle. I am the walrus. I am relentless.
I wake up at 3:45a.m. to ride at 5:00a.m. to put in more miles on my bike before the sun rises than most people drive in their car all day long. All this, just to beat cancer and to show my love for my family members that cancer took away from me.
I woke up early this morning ready to meet up with the 5 a.m. Wake up ride group when I noticed that my bike saddle was crooked. I got my hand and popped it back into place and sat down… went a few pedals… and I looked like I needed a V8. I quickly pulled over and inspected my seat.
Part of my seat was missing!! And the worst part about this was that today is TUESDAY!!! The one day of the week my bike guru is closed. š¦
I sent him a note anyway hoping that when he woke up would guide me through the process of learning to fix it myself.
His response? “Cheen-gow Myssie! Where’s the rest of your seat post?”
I could almost feel his eyes roll from miles away!!! After a feeble attempt of trying to figure out a solution, I quickly gave up and was able to make it to RPM class at Gold’s Gym.
RPM class is led by Joey Williams… the toughest meanest roughest most incredible wonderful experienced triathlete spin instructor (who I know doubles as a DJ some nights) in the gym. He is WICKED AWESOME! His class is like a night club… but at 5:30 a.m.
He immediately singled me out. It had been a while since I was able to attend his class. I think he was going to make sure I knew he had been counting the days and wanted to have me make up for them… in one hour. And boy oh boy did he!!!
I have never had that much sweat on me EVER in my life!!!
I am so very grateful for his advice and guidance and that of the rest of the class – including the Cyclepaths – Ā of bike experts who had just come back from other bike ventures similar to Viva Bike Vegas.
To make the day even better… German and Luci (owners of Valley Running Company) presented me with the brand spanking new Saucony Cortana 3s in yep… you guessed it… ORANGE!!! š
What does a date mean? I could go back to my pageant days and remember that famous on stage question:
“Describe your perfect date.”
“Hmm. That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25 because it’s not too hot and it’s not too cold. Ā All you need is a light jacket.”
We all thought this was funny because of the way that the word “date” was used. And she was actually right. April 25 really is a very nice day.
It has meaning.
Dates to me have meaning. I see signs in everything. I choose to see them.
In late September of 2011, Sissy lost her life to cancer. But not before she was able to push me into a healthy lifestyle and start running.
In late September of 2012, MidValley Events chose me to be their Athlete of the Week. They sent me to a little bike shop for a photo shoot because the shop had an orange wall that could be used as a back drop. I had come a long way in one year from Sissy’s challenge to the athlete of the week. That day changed my life once again. I went from running to cycling (and triathlon) when I was introduced to Wally’s Bike Shop.
In late September of 2013, I will have completed the Triple Crown. A challenge instigated by Sissy, supported by my community, guided by Wally… all exactly one year apart.
What does a date mean? If that date is September 21, it means a lot.
What a week! This morning I missed my early 5 a.m. wake up bike ride and did some one handed bike drills and speed intervals with Coach Sandy and some of the Multi-sport Maniacs. I don’t want it to seem like bragging so I feel the need to say this up front now… I really am very surprised that my legs are not hurting and sore as how I would imagine they would be. Coach Sandy really does know what she’s doing. She’s making me stronger!!!
This morning was really awesome with Coach!! Ā She took us along a stretch of road that was laced with sugar cane fields. There isn’t a lot of traffic so it’s safe for us to practice drills and high speed intervals in flat straight lines. The best part was that she came up to me and recognized that I was improving. Albeit, I still have a long ways to go… but I’m improving!!!
The whispers of the sugar cane silenced my worries. There have been a lot this week. The sound they make is amazing. If you ever have the chance to run or bike by a sugar cane field on a windy day, I promise you, you’ll feel the magic. I needed to feel that.
About three weeks ago, I fell while on a bike ride. It wasn’t a huge smash boom crash. It was one of those slow motion I’m-falling-and-can-order-a-triple-latte-and-still-have-20-seconds-left kinda falls. I was able to buffer my fall with my arm and caught myself with a giggle. No biggie. But my ego got hurt.
The following day, I noticed a bruise on my butt and some tenderness around… well you know… down there. I saw them but casually blew them off. I mean… come on. They’re bruises. That’s all. I rode the Hell of the South a few days later so clearly they weren’t bad enough to stop me.
But they were enough to make a friend of mine tell me that they were not normal for that kind of fall. She is in the medical field and I have to admit… she made a good point. Ā I believe I can properly quote her with “OH MY GOD! Those aren’t bruises! They’re Hematomas!”
I now have bruises all over my body for no explainable reason. Fourteen of them!
Now, I debated on whether or not to make this little trial of mine public on this blog. After watching Robin Roberts last night accept her award at the ESPYs, I knew I had to. Whether or not this is life changing, it becomes responsibility when you know better to educate those around you.
So here goes…
I went to the doctor and got my blood checked. I have symptoms that could possibly identify leukemia. Bruising, fevers, night sweats, increased white blood cell counts, weight loss, tiredness, tingling and numbness… and other symptoms. In the back of my mind, I have answers and reasons for each of those symptoms. I’m a clutz. I fall off my bike. That’s why I bruise. I exercise a lot, that’s why I’ve lost weight and am tired. etc etc…
But after all that my family has been through, wouldn’t it be really stupid if I did get leukemia, saw all the signs and then ignored them because I was scared?
The smart thing would be to address the issues with my doctors and medical team.
My doctor did find some problems in my blood. I have been referred to a very good doctor at Texas Oncology. Please keep me in your prayers these next two weeks. Deep down inside, I do not believe that I have cancer. However, ignorance is NOT bliss. If I do have it, I hope to identify it in the early stage and fight it with everything I’ve got. If I don’t have cancer, I hope that someone out there who may have similar symptoms sees this and has the courage to address it properly, too.
The following video was shared with me today on my facebook wall. It is posts like this one, scientists like the ones featured here and patients that are living life as it should be that push me further and further. I know we are close to a cure now. I feel it!!!
RunMyssieRun 