Archive for running

Pay it forward and after

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 2, 2014 by runmyssierun

It was pretty overcast and a bit windy today during my morning run. I stayed up late and drank some “demon fluid” – which is something I rarely do!!! I knew it’d affect me in my run today, so I did as much as I could without making myself nauseous. After each mile, I’d stop and do 100 crunches. At about mile 4, the sun poked some rays around the clouds and so I reached over above my head for my sunglasses.

BUT THEY WERENT THERE!!!!

My glasses are pretty special. They’re ORANGE – of course because of my Momma. And they’re Oakley. And they’re LiveSTRONG so the profits made from the sale of those glasses went to help someone who has cancer. Those glasses are not the most beautiful or flattering… But they mean a whole lot to me and I wear them at all my races now.

The thought of losing them destroyed me!! I quickly used the power of my Facebook and made a cry for help to all my friends.

Within minutes… And just a few blocks away, a runner friend jogged up to me with a huge smile on his face. “I saw these by the water fountain and knew they had to be yours. They’re orange and no one rocks orange better than you do. Keep it up. I’m rooting for you.”

Wow!!!!

I finished my run feeling so blessed. I have a wonderful life!!!!!

And then just as I got into my car at Jack in the crack, I noticed a lump of clothing by a tree nearby. It was a homeless man shivering in the morning cold.

Ya…. You know me by now. I believe it was a sign. I pay it forward a lot but I had just found my glasses and need to pay it back with gratitude.

I went into jack in the box and got him a juice and breakfast croissant and placed it by him.

There are about 7 runners who went slowly by me wondering what I was doing. Kinda cool when I saw it show on their faces that they understood immediately and gave me that nod of approval.

Today is Super Bowl Sunday … But it’s me that scored the big one already 🙂

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Slow dancing over the Gulf of Mexico

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 12, 2014 by runmyssierun

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I’m asked quite often now what events are on my 2014 calendar. Of course, if you’ve followed along, you know my response 😉

Today was one of the events. I really do want to re-race each event I’ve done so far to measure any decrease in pace, if any. The Port Isabel Longest Causeway race was my first 10k, almost exactly one month after my first 5k. I had been running for just about three months. Still very green, awkward and overcome with nerves.

But today was different. Not that I’m all Olympian or Kenyan by any means, but I really did feel at home at this race today.  Practice, training and experience has all helped me overcome the nerves and focus on just doing my best and enjoying everything around me.

This may sound weird to you non-runners but as a flat valley runner with little to no experience with hills or elevated grades, running up the Causeway is a serious challenge that takes great physical effort and stamina. The challenge plays mind games with you… or at least it does with me. I did a pretty good pace going up and stopped three times to take photos of a few fellow Cyclepaths that I saw along the way. Coach Hector marked my time trial at 10:45 with a 13:15 goal pace. *My run pace has slowed tremendously so I’m building it back up by returning to Running 101 class and tons of run drills that coach has designed just for me. I think it’s working.

I held an 11:40 pace (even with all the stopping for photos and chit chats with friends) which puts me at 2 minutes faster than Coach’s goal pace for me. I finished at 1:14… nothing to be ecstatic about right? Wrong.

Wanna see why this is so exciting for me? Look at my time from the last Causeway race.

My first 10k - The Longest Causeway run

 

To me, any improvement is worthy of celebration!!! Especially after doing so much with so little experience.

I would love to say that by CapTex I can get back to my 8 min paces but truth is that these last couple of months I’ve focused solely on running pace. Once I begin to incorporate swimming and biking into the weekly routines, I’m sure that my 8 dreams will likely fizzle. So I won’t get upset if I don’t reach 8 but that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna try and it doesn’t mean that I’m gonna kill myself trying to get there. Ya, re-read that last line. Do it again. Understand?

Oh! My review of the race today you ask?

Honestly, today was a bit of a blurr. What stood out the most were three parts.

1. Going uphill on the Causeway was a bit surreal. It wasn’t like last time – sunny and calm with the smell of the salt water filling your lungs. Today had a thick brownish sticky fog that smothered the view and your body with an icky feeling. It took me back to my younger days in dance clubs where the dance floor would poof up with thick smoke and that lovey dovey slow song would play for the traditional “it’s 2:00a.m. bar is closing hook up” song. I remember smiling big as ever as I found myself slow dancing over the Gulf of Mexico. Its hard to describe the feelings I get when I run. I remember getting a few boys upset when I was younger dancing with them at clubs because once I closed my eyes and my hands went up into the sky, I was in my own little world and they knew I was no longer with them. It was how I escaped. I never needed drugs or alcohol. I just needed a good beat to dance to. Well, the same kinda goes for running.

It’s a sensual exhilarating exhausting feeling that isn’t sexual. Does that make sense? People kept telling me how addictive running was and to watch out for the “runner’s high” and I’d laugh. Maybe this is what they were talking about. Maybe I do get high. Maybe running is my drug. Wow. I hope coffee doesn’t get jealous!!!

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2. The last mile just as I turned the corner, I flashed back to the year prior when I witnessed a fellow Run Walk or Crawl runner fall to the street with a broken hip. I said a quick prayer of thanks for the ability to run without injury. So many people are not able to. This is a gift that I and all those around me at the time were given. And that’s when my mind went to David Mendez. I had asked a fellow Team in Training team mate about him two days ago. He’s struggling now and has spent the last two weeks at MD Anderson.  And that’s when I jumped into high gear…

3. It was the thought of David that pushed me to my last sprint across the finish. Normally, I gracefully prance across the finish with my hands held high showing my momma in Heaven my hand signs and smiling big for the cameras. Today was different. I don’t know what came over me but I was just so filled with emotion. How could I waste this gift that has been given to me? And my inner voice loudly commanded me to go… go as fast as I possibly could. Sprint. Race. David can’t. You can. Go! I didn’t look at anyone around me. I focused on that finish line and went for it like a crazy mad woman. I scared even myself!!! But it was a great feeling. That was for David because I still don’t know what to say to him to make it all better. So I run.

With all that I’ve been though, I should know what to say by now to people who have been hurt by cancer. Shouldn’t I?

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Run this way – beginner basics

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 3, 2014 by runmyssierun

The new year has begun and now I have lots of friends who told me a couple of years ago “You look great! And HAPPY!”, “You are such an inspiration. I could never run like you do”, “I’ve never been able to run,”…. and guess what… ya, you know what… they’re starting to run!!!

Including my own son!!!!

For those of you who follow me and don’t know me personally, let me sum it up for you… I’m probably one of the most over protective moms that ever lived. There. Period.

This last month, my son blurted out “Wake me up early so I can go run with you tomorrow morning”.  It was the equivalent of Heaven’s gates opening and a chorus of angels singing. YAY!!!!

For those of you who do know me personally and remember me saying that I’d never talk about my family on this blog… ok, I retract my statement. My son is joining me on my running journey!!!! He will now become a part of it and let me tell you, watching so many of my running team mates have their families run with them or man water stations or hold up silly posters wearing purple wigs and clanging cow bells at races was the bomb!!!! Many times, it was those families that made me feel like I was a part of their family. I’ve never been someone to push or bully someone into doing anything against their will, so I’ve been quite passive about this but secretly, just between me, you and this computer screen… I so wanted my family to be a part of it.

Ok, a quick run down (pun intended)

My son is an asthmatic so we went to his doctor yesterday to get him checked out. She was elated to hear that he would be running!
“It’ll teach him to open up his lungs at a different level.” She knew he was an incredible swimmer so developing his lungs over all the years of swimming would help with this next step. After a detailed check up and a couple of tests, she loaded him up with advice, monthly visits, samples and a huge smile!

We went to visit my run gurus at Valley Running Company. He got fitted for his shoes. They took their time with him and asked a lot of questions, had him walk this way and run that way and after about two hours… he left with the same shoes I have. Blame genetics. He’s got my crazy feet, same arch and duck walk. Saucony is going to be very happy with this family.

Signed him up for Running 101 – our local run class. Yes, this may sound a little crazy to some of you but our local run shop hosts run classes to TEACH US HOW TO RUN. There is a coach to give us weekly run drills, stretches, correct our form and we do it in a group atmosphere so that we all learn from each other, encourage each other and become accountable to each other. Plus there is safety in numbers when running in the evening.

So, let me review some of the basics, the important basics that every one should do when starting a new running routine:

1. See your doctor and tell him/her about your new running activity and ask if they have any concerns about it.

2. Get a custom fit shoe by a qualified run shoe store expert.

3. Find a running group to join with an experienced coach to teach you correct form and run safely in a group on a regular basis.

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Starbucks baristas served about 70 runners from the Running 101 Class at Valley Running Company midway through their social 6-mile run last night.

After my sons’s first run class last night, Coach Hector asked to meet with him today on a one to one evaluation. He went over a few stretches and strength exercises for his ankle that seemed to have been giving him some problem. He also went over some biomechanics and form correction with his stride.

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Running is one of our most basic and instinctive exercises but two years into this and I see it is such a complex sport. I learn something new about it every day. It’s easy and it’s complicated. Strange huh? What’s even stranger is the love/hate relationship that you develop with it!!!

I’m so excited about my son running with me. I truly hope he enjoys this.

Wow!!! Sissy… you really outdid yourself this time!

Rainy day reflections

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 30, 2013 by runmyssierun

Resolution Road cometh early:
* I will not take my self so seriously I forget to live, laugh, and love
* I will continue to push for my health and my family’s
* I will make as many resolutions and goals and list need to achieve success rather than accept defeat or failure
* I will lead by positive example whenever possible: I will follow positive examples whenever given
* I will do more to remember than forgetting ( except when it comes to spelling and cheesecake)
* I may or may not consider myself crazy for this years fitness goals but if I do? Well that’s okay because they are still getting not just done but DONE RIGHT!!!

Thank you to Cheryl who shared these thoughts with me and my run group. She said it better than I ever could have.

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Certain things are likely

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 30, 2013 by runmyssierun

1554534_10153676217425068_1042486816_nIt was the last weekend of 2011 and I had recently finished my first 5k (at the Fiesta marathon) and right between Christmas and New Years… the perfect time to give up on your fitness routine because of all the parties and temptation and seriously… resolutions start AFTER December 31st, right???

Wrong

This resolution was to be life changing for me at that time and even though I didn’t know anyone running that morning at Bill Schupp park, I knew I owed it to myself and to Sissy to get in as many training races as possible… so I did it.

And I ran it.

And ran it again the last weekend in 2012.

And ran it again this last weekend in 2013… today. But this time it was with my two boys. THAT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY YEAR!!! To know that I’ve made so many sacrifices these last two years, so many lifestyle changes and so many positive impacts by staying true to myself and my running fitness goals that it impacted the lives of my sons… by their choice.

You have no idea how gratifying it is so see this come full circle.

Sissy certainly knew what she was doing. Three years ago, had you told me that my boys and I would be running races for “fun”… I would have laughed hysterically in your face!!!

I do love the new “me” that I’ve fought to become again… again? Yes, again. I am slowly becoming the woman I was a long time ago and was reminded of that just last night when my old friends from high school all came together to celebrate Billy’s wedding.  If you are familiar with 80’s movies, you know who Molly Ringwald is. Well, there was a part of me in every character that Molly played. I refer back to Molly a lot because in high school, my friends were the real breakfast club. And I was Molly.

Of all the characters that she played, I was probably most like Andie Walsh.

I still love the classic Karmann Ghia, shop at thrift stores, sketch designs and am surrounded by music (although not a music store in my real life unless you consider iTunes as the modern day music store) and I’m least like Claire Standish because although I did win my city’s local crown, I was hardly a princess. I don’t think I could do the lipstick trick (I never tried) but I could do the cherry stem trick 😉 and I still swoon over the dark haired bad boy. What is probably MOST predictable is that I married a guy who honestly really did look like Jake Ryan. I’ve been coloring my hair for so long that you’d never even know that my real hair color is copper red!!!

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I’m rambling

So anyways as my old Breakfast Club reunited (sans a few members) the talk and the realization of who I used to be and who I was becoming were quite similar. THANK GOD!

In my teens and early twenties, I felt like I could do anything I set my mind to. I conquered all! There were no limits. In my late twenties, thirties and early forties, I felt like I could do nothing right.

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Each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal.

My Breakfast Club friends – life long friends – helped make me feel like I could do anything. And I hope that I don’t diminish how special they are to me by saying this next part because NO ONE COULD POSSIBLY BE AS WONDERFUL FRIENDS AS THEY WERE TO ME AT THAT TIME but now I feel like through all these run groups, team in training, Maniacs, cyclepaths, etc….  is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal.

When the original Breakfast Club was together, we were unstoppable. We could change the world if we wanted to in 72 hours. We never realized what we had at the time.

Now, I have a new Breakfast Club. The members are all so very different from each other. Some of us still tear each other apart with misunderstandings and gossip. (Not like my original Breakfast Club) But some of us… some of us are pretty dang awesome. And I’ll bet if given the chance, they could change the world in 72 hours if they wanted to.

I am so glad that I am part of this motley gang of misfit fitness fanatics. I am so glad that I have the family that I do. I am so glad that I was raised by the family that I had. I am so glad that my Breakfast Club reunited and remembered who I was and who Sissy wanted me to be again.

The great thing about Andie, Samantha and Claire is that all those characters went through some crazy drama, she had a few trusteds that she vented with (Yes, I have a “Duckie”, too), but with the help of her friends and the love of her family and a little bit of creativity… she gave up something that was dear to her and gave it to the handsome bad boy

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she transformed the humble gifts that were given to her and creatively combined them all so that she could show the world that they did not break her, and she showed up to the big event and showed them..

In the end, Molly always got the kiss and the storybook happily ever after ending… and that’s where I hope I am now. Sometimes I feel like my whole life has been written by John Hughes. Sometimes, I wish it was.

2014… it’s time to get it right. I know my goals. I know how to get them. It’s not going to be the trite “New year/New me” lingo here… I want the old me back again. So here we go!!! With the help of my friends and family…

WHAT’S HAPPENING HOT STUFF?????

Don't you forget about me. (*Rodney Perez)

Don’t you forget about me. (*Rodney Perez)

To my Duckie…

Taking it back old school so that I can move forward.

Chestnuts roasting, Christmas wishes and resolutions

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 26, 2013 by runmyssierun

I spent the majority of this week frantically doing last minute shopping, taking care of my sick boys and dad and fighting the same fight over and over again day after day. I’m exhausted. I’ve run only two miles since the half marathon last week. I haven’t ridden my bike in weeks! And it’s been seriously way too long since I’ve swum a lane. This time last year, the holidays hardly made a dent in my training.

This year… it’s a different story. But it’s also way more complicated, too.

Regardless, I need to get back to a sensible balance where I can do everything I need to do. Stop eating those dang goodies and stop sitting on the couch and watching “It’s a Wonderful LIfe” all day long.

Funny thing about “balance” though. The great ones don’t balance their life… they focus on goals and everything else gets put on a back burner. If you are a great one, those who support you offer help where they can because they genuinely want you to achieve success, those who envy begin to chatter about your back burner items because they desperately wish they could do the things you do. If you are a balanced one, you usually aren’t extraordinary enough to be chattered about… and you don’t get offered help because people think you have everything under control. As I sit back and look at this and wonder which one I am… I’m a bit discouraged either way. Bummer.

However, if you’ve been following me for a while, you KNOW how I escape all that drama. (*hint: it’s MUSIC)

Santa did good this year. He got me some new wireless ear buds!! This year my resolutions need to be epic but followed up with a plan to make them attainable. So, I do foresee some pretty wild playlists being created to be used on some new races being added to my local agenda so I can use these great new ear buds!!! I’ve always been fascinated by learning new things so as I review each of my prior years resolutions, I’ve learned that they’ve all been about learning new activities or ways of life. The only resolution that I keep placing on my to-do list year after year and have yet to get accomplished is learning conversational Spanish fluently.  So just to keep tradition, I’ll place it on my list again this year. The other promise that I didn’t keep to myself this year was to complete a pull up. A REAL pull up.

Thank goodness, I received a note from an old friend of mine who I hope will help me achieve this feat soon with a new type of workout. This new workout is really good for developing upper body strength, core, balance and flexibility… all needed to become a better swimmer and cyclist. Pole fitness will enter my New Year’s resolution!!! (Stop it! I hear you laughing!!!)

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I’ve been working on a book for a few months now and after a conversation with my publisher, decided to reformat and redesign once again. I will become an author next year.

After all I witnessed this last week, I need to become a bigger part of my Dad’s world at least for the sake of his health (and my sanity). I will officially activate my Real Estate license and become a partner with him this year.  (I’ve been procrastinating a bit on this for several reasons. Time to move on.)

I have focused a lot of my energy to bring awareness for cancer these last two years and my fight is not nearly over, however, my focus will change as my eldest son goes to college.  Time is precious. Don’t let it slip away from you. I will not stop. I’ll just tone it down a bit. Maybe I’ll help coach? Who knows. 🙂

Now that I’ve discovered the benefits of a healthy lifestyle, I must take steps to incorporate it into the lifestyle of my family. It brought me such great joy to have them run with me at a few of the local 5ks here and to have my son teach me how to swim. Doing all these activities together bonds us and I need to make sure that it’s not just a phase but a daily habit for them to teach their children and grandchildren.

And as weird as this may sound, I have never been able to participate in an ACTS retreat because I always had a little one in the house and never had the heart to send him to Grandma’s house for the weekend in her condition to watch him. Now that he’s older, he’s a bit more self-sufficient and needs little supervision – or at least less than as an infant, I feel I need a whole lot more of God in my life and now is my chance. I think this would make my mother proud and I think it is the hole in my life that I need filled.

I also need to take the time to find and keep joy in my life. It seems that there will always be conflict, anger and disappointment every day no matter what so I need to find a better way to deal. I love painting, photography, dancing and music so making sure that I have healthy, artistic enriched outlets on a regular basis is critical for my well being… and understanding supportive friendships to share them all with. (*that may include some wine and/or bubbles with these activities)

And lastly, I may end up taking this one back but I’ll try it for a while….

Everyone asks me “What are you doing next?”

Someone quite special told me that he rarely tells people what events he’s doing and responds by saying “I’m training for Hog Dash!” (for you non-locals, Hog Dash is a 5k mud run – and he tells people this because he feels that it’s none of anyone’s business what he’s training for). As I reflect back on his advice, I think everything he’s told me has been spot on. So aside from this weekend’s Resolution Run (an annual tradition) and CapTex in May, I hereby publicly announce that I’m training for Hog Dash!!!!

So that’s it… These are my resolutions. Aside from the usual eating better, losing weight and shaving time off my PRs… I’m pretty content with my decisions.

I get to end this year with a Christmas that was nothing like what my Momma organized every year, attend a wedding where I get to witness one of my oldest lifelong friends give his heart away, teach my youngest son how to ride a bike and run with the women who started it all at the race that made running my lifestyle.

This year was rough. Each year becomes tougher. It would be really reckless of me to expect otherwise. Every hardship has taught me a lesson but hasn’t calloused me enough to make me bitter. I think it’s actually made me softer and more forgiving in many ways. I pray that this will make for an interesting year ahead, one that I hope to share with you in all my wild and crazy adventures to fulfill a promise.

My Christmas wish did not come true – but it was  a pretty big one so I’m ok with Santa not making it happen. My Christmas was still pretty awesome. Hope yours was, too. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!

Did you get your Christmas wish? What was it?

What are YOUR New Years resolutions?

RWC Christmas party

My “RUNSPIRATIONS” = the women of Run Walk or Crawl running group
I would have given up on myself and running had it not been for these amazing women of immense support. They all came together and brought over food when my mother passed away and they helped gather donations for my Team in Training cancer fund and some even joined me in running a few marathons for TNT. They are relentless!!!

Click Click Boom

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2013 by runmyssierun

I haven’t seemed to find my focus these last few months… in fact, probably since Viva Bike Vegas. My head hasn’t been in the game for a while. Distracted with emotion, stress and chaos has veered my energies elsewhere. Unfortunately, it veered off into a place where I had no control. I know better than to worry about things that are not within my control… but I did. And it played it’s dirty little games with me.

Serenity Prayer

About a month ago, I went “back to basics”. I’m re-learning how to run. I’m riding and running garminless. I’ve put the fun back into my workouts. Maybe this kind of attitude doesn’t work for everyone but it allowed me to take a step back and evaluate my performance, get to know – really get to know and appreciate – the fellow athletes who have kindly taken me under their wings. This is my off season and I felt I should take the time to thank those who supported me, emotionally, financially, physically and spiritually and I loved every minute of it and every one of them. I smile when I run. I sing when I ride. I still freak out a bit when I swim. Eh… what’d you expect?

But the entire time I was feeling really good about myself, there were a couple of people who just couldn’t get what I was doing. The words “lazy” and “selfish” echoed with no end on a daily basis over these last few months. Sadly, I am still human. When someone is told they are something routinely (whether positive or negative) every day, they tend to believe that they are (positive or negative) eventually. So, I began to believe it. I am still struggling with that.

Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten.

I’ve said many times over and over again to my close friends, confidants, team mates, coaches, and in this blog that being mentally strong is critical to participating in these endurance events. I have learned that my body can now do ANYTHING I prepare it to do. However, my head can quickly – without notice – put an end to all that hard work and physical capabilities with one simple little whisper.

YOU CAN’T

So when my doubting attitude starts to befriend those who call me lazy, selfish, childish, immature, not dedicated enough, not athletic enough, a spotlight hogger, etc… the dark side rises. It seems to be a never ending battle of wits but with a double edged sword.

The challenge is an enigma. I do well, I get criticized by some and praised by others. I do poorly, I get criticized by some and encouraged by others.  So, when I do an event and figure out that it doesn’t really matter if I do well or bad, I just do it to keep some sanity in my life, I still get criticized by some and then, surprisingly…  silence from the others.

I will likely step down after this season as my son will be leaving for college and my focus will be directed elsewhere once again. I made a promise. I will not stop. However, I am going to take it easy for a little bit now and stay right where I am… And where am I exactly you ask? I’m at the first line of Sissy’s Tree picture… just where she wanted me. I understand so much better now than I did a year ago, two years ago. I have found happiness and healing. I have done all that the tree picture said to do. I savored each instruction and lived it well. I strayed from it for a short while but now I’m back.

Life in not a race but indeed a journey

Tomorrow I’m running the McAllen Marathon for fun at an easy pace with some really good supportive friends that I’ve made along the way.  Originally, I was hoping to avenge myself after last years marathon disaster but after stepping back and thinking about things with a clearer head and peaceful heart, I’m gonna do the half with a fun playlist and smile the whole way through. So take that!!

I’ll close with an excerpt from my Momma’s diary in hopes that I not only fulfill her dreams of doing everything possible to help those touched with cancer but also what she hoped for her family – my family.

Statistically, I will be dead within 2 or 3 years. I have asked the Lord and His mother, the Virgin Mary, to give me a  couple of years more so I can see Michael graduate from high school. That would make me so happy. …. I ask the Lord to give me patience and I still continue to pray for his intercession. I hope and pray that I have the strength to get through this.” — Mimi Cardenas

 

If only

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 2, 2013 by runmyssierun

If… If only.

I spent this Thanksgiving holiday weekend with my family, the little that is left of it. I didn’t really get to spend a lot of time with friends. Many have moved away. Many have moved on. Many did the Turkey Trot that I have yet to do!!!

Yep, you read that right. I didn’t run the Turkey Trot. Why? You ask.

Because the Turkey Trot is a family tradition. And Thanksgiving is a family tradition.

But my family doesn’t run. My family eats. So Thanksgiving dinner is OUR tradition and I’m all that is left with the recipes and I am all that is left to keep the tradition alive for my children to remember when they are adults. Otherwise, it’d be Luby’s take out on tray tables in the living room watching the Dallas Cowboys play football. (Sorry if I offend some of you who do this but my Momma held our dinners to a whole different standard)

I know this is completely contradictory of all the healthy practices I’ve entertained these last two years, all the blogs I follow and requote and probably everything you want to hear… but it’s true.

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I cooked for twelve. Only five sat at the table. There is significance in that. It was a feast. I ran out of butter. I spent all day barefoot and in the kitchen. For the first time EVER (while taking basting breaks from the turkey)… I took the time to do my hair and make up because Momma said that lipstick was very important. I used the white and gold china dishes. I used the white linen napkins and carefully rolled each of them up by hand and placed them by the edge of each setting.

I messed up her mushroom rice casserole. I should have added another french onion soup. Because it wasn’t perfect, I couldn’t eat it.

I spent the whole day cleaning, cooking and then cleaning everything up again. By myself. I didn’t complain. It was what my Momma did for years before… and she looked forward to it. How women do this and then get up at 4 a.m. to go shopping the next day exhausted and with this little bit of sleep is beyond me. Well, no wonder we have the chaos at Walmarts like we do on Black Friday!!!

I was able to run my 20 miles on Wednesday before. My time wasn’t great but better than the time before and I did it without injury or pain and was able to sing on key to much of my playlist!!! Best of all… it was such a BEAUTIFUL day!!! It was probably THE MOST PERFECT DAY FOR RUNNING EVER IN THE HISTORY OF ME RUNNING!!!

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So not running on Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday… was ok with me.

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I was able to decorate the house for the kids and put up the Christmas tree. I’m crazy afraid of heights so I didn’t put up the lights around the house outside… but I’m still pondering if I can do it.  My favorite little local candy shops also sent me little notes and special discounts so I was able to get some Christmas shopping done, too.

My favorite part of the weekend was Saturday night. The house was quiet and I had just finished the tree and I found the bouquet of mistletoe in the box of decorations. I frantically searched for the step ladder and quickly hung it up in the entryway. I don’t think the boys know the meaning of mistletoe. I couldn’t help but reminisce and keep the memory there as long as I could. I must have stood there under the mistletoe for an hour staring at it.

Under the Mistletoe! XL

I remember clearly how my Dad would hang the mistletoe above the door so that he could sneak a kiss from Momma every time she entered the house.  My parents made Christmas really special to Donny and me. I feel bad for those who don’t understand and will never feel what I do at this time of year.

I wonder if I’ve been able to do the same for my children.

I hope that when my children grow up, they have sweet warm loving memories of holidays and not just visiting loved ones in hospitals for them to cherish.

I’ve failed a lot in my life but this… this is where I pray I don’t. I can’t. I don’t want to fail them.

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When you wish upon a star

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on November 30, 2013 by runmyssierun

“I am proud to be a normal size girl and I want to encourage everyone to be confident at any size.” – Miranda Lambert, speaking out on rumors about her weight loss in an open letter to her fans.Image

 

After Thanksgiving, many of us (who are obsessed with body image) feel guilty about our celebratory feast with friends and family. Even more of my personal friends who are now getting ready or swim suit finals at Miss Texas Teen USA are even more frenzied. And poor Maria Kang seems to be getting even deeper into the drama of size, image, hate and inspiration.

I’m glad that I now realize the difference between a socially accepted beautiful body and a doctor recommended healthy body.

It’s weekends like this when I can sit back and be pretty dang content with myself. 

I can run twenty miles. I can eat a good Thanksgiving dinner. And I am ok.

I’ll wear stretchy pants and oversized sweaters for a few days… 

And I’ll run the HALF marathon next weekend. Not the full. Thank you Sissy. It took a while for me to look deep inside and understand that no matter what I do, it still will never be good enough for some people. Why hurt myself trying to prove them wrong? I need to remember why I started this in the first place and stay true to myself.

 

I’ve made my Christmas wish. The stars know and only they will tell.

Do I wanna know?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 25, 2013 by runmyssierun

The cold front blew in Friday and I was chomping at the bit to run in the rare chilly weather (*chilly = 42 degrees). I know… I know… some of you Yankee amigos are giggling at that reference but honestly, we don’t get below 70 round these parts much!!!

So let me backtrack a bit for some randomness over the last couple of days that lead into the rest of today’s story…

A few days ago, my best friend since high school had twins!!! This woman is downright amazing. Phenomenal, I tell you! She has this charisma about her that infatuates EVERYONE around her. I remember her scoring an almost perfect SAT and treating it like is was no biggie. I can count on the fingers of ONE hand everyone I consider knows, has and has seen all the best (and my favorite) musical artists of all time. She would be the thumb. She’s a crazy red head who is silly enough to always have the best time EVER doing inappropriate things and smart enough to never get caught doing them! She’s successful, organized, funny, styled to the T and is now… a mommy to Fiona Ray and Jake Ryan. I am beyond elated!!!

*p.s. She asked me a while back ago for some name suggestions. Jake Ryan made the cut. I found out just last week when I helped throw a surprise baby shower for her. Jake Ryan is for the most beautiful boy of all my favorite brat pack movies…

So anyway… (sorry, I had a moment there reminiscing with Jake) it got me thinking… I’ve always wanted a big family. Could I have another baby?

Here we are in our 40’s, all settled into our ways of life… I mean really, 40-some is just too old… right? It’s too hard on a woman’s body. Child bearing is for young women. Right? Do I wanna know? Whether or not I feel I can do it, I know for a fact she can.  Taking up running at such a late age in life the way I have and finishing so many marathons, triathlons and that amazing century ride… surely I can handle a baby. Hmmm…

Fiona Ray and Jake Ryan and their fantabulous Mommy!!!

Fiona Ray and Jake Ryan and their fantabulous Mommy!!!

Well, I HAVE been saying that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Right?

And then I got the picture text to me on the phone. My heart completely melted. I was breathless. Enamored.

I woke up Saturday morning snuggled up warmly under my big blanket and for a moment hit snooze. It was almost like the trail itself got up and pushed me outta bed as it suddenly dawned on me… IT’S COLD!!! Let’s go run!

It was an amazing run!!! I began very early in the morning… 5:00a.m. I was scheduled to do 20 miles. I bundled up. Thermal leggings, shin socks, thermal long sleeve jersey with those cute little cut outs for my thumbs and a light wind breaker. YAY!!! I don’t get to wear winter gear often!!!

As I began my run, a light drizzle fell. I thought to myself, “Eh, that’s ok. It’s not rain and won’t soak all the way through my clothes.” Just then… it began to rain. 😦

I was 7 miles into my run. My goal was 20. I was chilled to the bone. I was going to shiver the whole way and be miserable on this run if I didn’t do something about this right then and there!!! I decided to head back to my car and drive home to get more gear = my big black TNT hoodie sweat shirt and cheap throw away mittens.

I drove back and began my run again. For a while there, the trail was completely baron. This is odd for a Saturday morning. It was usually jam packed with runners, joggers, walkers and cyclists. I figured this was a little gift for me. I was able to freely escape and zone out and think of the stuff of life that makes me happy.

The last few bike rides and runs have been Garmin-free. I didn’t want to burn out on all my activities so I went back to basics and just rode and ran for fun. I did them both at a conversational pace and have been able to get to know the fellow athletes around me. I think it was a good move on my part. By reading this blog, you probably think that my life is just about working out…. but in reality my life is pretty multifaceted. There was always something to talk about, laugh about and afterwards enjoy a cup of coffee and bond even more. I really did want to know about them more. They are quite fascinating!!!

But Saturday was just me. I was curious to see if all this up and down and no Garmin attitude over the last few months had changed my pace and endurance. My garmin reminded me at every mile that it certainly had changed. However – and maybe it was because of the weather – maybe it was the excitement of the twins – maybe it was the possibility my new found attitude to conquer any challenge out there that was driving me but – I felt awesome out there on the trail that morning!!!

I could have run forever.

FOREVER

Slowly but forever.

I remembered another conversation earlier this week about someone telling me “A 6:30 marathon isn’t for me. Why even train” (that kinda smarted because 6:30 was my time last year at the Fiesta Marathon and exactly the reason why I wanted so badly to redeem myself this year) – and while my pace this morning wouldn’t result in a 6:30 time, it wouldn’t be super great either. I thought a lot about this during my run. I signed up for the full marathon in two weeks and began to doubt my ability. I’ve been inconsistent with my times and haven’t had the opportunity to put in my miles the proper way. And well, bottom line is… my head’s not in the game. The possibility of another 6:30 happening again to me or close to it is pretty high with this kind of doubt in my head. I ended up with a total of 17 miles that day.  Not quite 20. Head games again.. even when I felt great.

So why do I still let people and their remarks get to me?

I don’t know. I really don’t know.

And here’s the heart of the matter… Do I really want to know?

What I do know is that when I am around good, fun, genuine people I am good, fun and genuine as well. When I am around bitter, negative, selfish, stingy, egotistical plastics… I find myself becoming more like them (or any other type of personality for that matter).  There’s a saying – you become like the five people you surround yourself the most. I think I began to take on the goals of those 5 people and forgot about my own.

So when someone from the first group I described shared a thought with me – not knowing my circumstance – it struck a chord.

Here’s the conversation:

Friend: You smile a lot when you run! But not when you race.

Me: Well thats because we’re just having fun putting in the miles here on the trail. Aren’t you supposed to be serious and focused when you race? (I said it kinda sarcastically and now regret it)

Friend: Well I thought the whole point of you taking up running was to find your happiness again? Wasn’t that the first line in the tree picture?

touche

Funny how I keep finding myself back in this situation over and over again. Back to the tree picture… back to the same friends who ground me to the goodness I love.

Smile more. Run more. Become more.

I love you.

Baby love hand sign