Archive for life lessons

Defining Moments of Life

Posted in cancer, training for my first half ironman with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 7, 2016 by runmyssierun


I have been taking a pretty profound 8-week class for work. I’m about half way through it. Today, my instructor told us that as a young boy, his dad would tell him that if he just made all “B’s” in school that he’d be so very proud of him. So what was he conditioned to do? He made all B’s. And all was well.

As a young girl, I remember being in the car with some family members. We were driving South on Sugar road in my home town and as we passed the home of the President of the University – a massively landscaped mansion to me back in the day – I remember blurting out to them that one day I would live there. I was quickly hushed, corrected and told,”You’re too pretty to be smart.  The smartest man in town lives there. Your brother may have a chance though.” He was smart. Boys were supposed to be smart. Girls were supposed to be pretty and delicate and dumbed down so that others around can feel superior, stronger and smarter. That’s how the world was supposed to be as it was shown to me.

I was conditioned to be pretty. So what did I do? I was never exceptional in school and I entered pageants because I was supposed to be pretty… where I was eventually told I wasn’t pretty enough to continue. So I was never smart enough and never pretty enough… and grew up always thinking I was just never ENOUGH.

For whatever reason, at any given point of my life, I was always surrounded by people who seemed to be nice and friendly and care for me… but never really encouraged or pushed me to see what I was really made of and what I could really do with all that I was. All it took was a handful of people to make the needed difference in me. Now, don’t get me wrong – I still struggle daily with the whole “enough” battle in my head – but I win a few of the fights in the end.

I do not believe that my story is rare. I think a lot of us, too many of us, were told by influential others what our defining limits were presumed to be. Maybe, just maybe, you were one, too.

But what I also believe is that just as I had a defining moment in my life that forced me to push myself beyond what I thought I could accomplish, you and many others have had or will have defining moments that will do the same. And guess what… I also believe that every day of life gives us all a moment to redefine us all again, too.

Experiences like this have taught me great lessons. Some in my own self and some of those lessons have been for me to learn to recognize the type of person who still tries to define me with their own self doubt, limitations, envy or other insecurity. I see you. It’s ok. I smile and nod my head to all you tell me… but I don’t believe a thing you say to me anymore.  The beauty of rock bottom is the wisdom that comes from it when you rise.  Yes, I do better when I have an encouraging cheering section but I have learned the hard way, too, to believe in myself and become everything you were not prepared to experience… my absolute best.

Who will you allow yourself to become? Are you ready for your defining moment?

What I learned in 2013

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 1, 2014 by runmyssierun

What I learned in 2013

1. Life is not always fair.

You have good days and you have bad days and what you need to remember is that after all the bad days that kick you when you’re down, there’s a really really good day that makes you forget about that bad stuff.

2.  Bad things happen to good people. And they remain good people.

I’ve been wronged a lot in my life but nothing compared to what Dezma’s family has had to deal with, or Chef Marcel and Sylvia, or so many of my friends who have had cancer, adultery/divorce, bankruptcy, death happen to them. Good people… really really good people have hit rock bottom this year and they still have the heart to help others who are wronged.

3.  Good things happen to bad people. And they remain bad. But I still have hope.

We all know someone like this. My only explanation is that God spends extra time on these people, a bunch of us secretly pray for people like this – and those prayers come true for them… one day, I have faith, that they’ll be grateful for all that they have and stop making life miserable for the others around them.

4. Letting go of the worries that you cannot control works only if you let go of the people who worry about things they cannot control.

It’s pointless to worry about the world coming to an end. It’s out of my control. But that worry will still be a thorn in my side if the people around me worry about the things they cannot control.

5. Never Ever Give Up. Unless what you are doing is not making a positive impact on your life and the lives of others.

At the beginning of 2013, NEGU was a mantra I truly believed in. Until one day I figured out the difference between giving up and letting go. Yes, there is a difference.

6. I still can’t make everyone happy.

Duh. Oh! and it’s always the unhappy ones that are the most vocal. Can you imagine receiving a summary of your mistakes at the end of every day? Yes, every day. EVERY day.

7. I learned that it is when you make yourself most vulnerable to people that you feel the most love and feel the most heartache.

Falling in love, feeling love, and feeling the hurt that comes with heartache is so very worth it. No matter what.

8.  Life doesn’t get any easier, you just get stronger, pick your battles and learn to ignore the silly stuff (and people) that shouldn’t really matter in the big scheme of things.

That should be self explanatory.

9. Sometimes rejection is a gift that should have been unwrapped a long time ago.

One door closes and another opens… or have a bunch of friends with you who can help you knock that friggin wall down. Maybe this will get me to make my own path in 2014.

10. I learned to do more of what makes me happy instead of what makes others happy.

Because if I don’t, it becomes quite clear to me who those people are that don’t WANT me happy.

11. Family is everything

And sometimes you realize that some friends should have been family.

12. I also learned that I really am a lot more like my mother than I thought I was. And I’m a lot like my dad, too.

So there.

Today, as we wish each other a Happy New Year, let us determine to be more sincere, compassionate, warm-hearted human beings, trying to make our world a more equal place. That way we’ll actually make it a happy year. ~~ Dalai Lama


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