Posted in Uncategorized on January 16, 2014 by runmyssierun
Each of us have something we were meant to do. We all have a purpose. We all have that little fire inside of us that lights up when we do something we are passionate about. We all have that goodness inside of us that manifests our greatness. It is in all of us. And when we choose to be comfortable at a level that is beneath our greatness… we waste our purpose in life.
This week I’ve been “interviewed” 6 times by a magazine, a women’s organization who asked me to be their keynote speaker, a few business managers, a dream job employer and the one that stood out the most… my editor.
He can be quite mono-toned and mundane so when he blurted out “Is this your purpose? Have you found your purpose in life?” I was stunned for a moment. I didn’t really know how to respond to him.
People go their whole lives not knowing what they were meant to do. Even worse, people can go their whole lives not living and never attempting a purpose. Had I found my purpose? Have I attempted this to be a purpose? Was this it? Or is there more?
Surely I was never meant to be an athlete.
But maybe I was meant to be an example of hope, or perseverance, or determination, or love.
“Yes. Yes, I believe I’ve found my purpose.” I responded.
“Well then,” he chuckled, “lets talk a little bit more about that. Because maybe it’s my purpose to help you get there.”
_____
I was asked to be the keynote speaker at a local high school regarding “Women’s Empowerment” – I’ve decided to name my presentation after the name that I’ve decided to name my book.
Not gonna say it yet… but if I have time after the presentation on Tuesday, I’ll post the entire presentation for you to see.
I just recently watched a presentation by Jane McGonigal. I am in awe. I’ll post the video below for y’all to view.
5 MOST COMMON REGRETS THAT PEOPLE SAY ON THEIR DEATH BEDS:
1. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
2. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
3. I wish I had let myself be happier.
4. I wish I had had the courage to express my true self.
5. I wish I had lived the life true to my dreams instead of what others expected of me.
I’ll let you ponder those 5 regrets for a while as I skip around in her speech to the part where she talks of POST TRAUMATIC GROWTH. We’ve heard a lot about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder but I had never heard of Post Traumatic Growth. McGonigal says that “some people get stronger and happier after a traumatic event.”
“Here are the top five things that people with post-traumatic growth say: My priorities have changed. I’m not afraid to do what makes me happy. I feel closer to my friends and family. I understand myself better. I know who I really am now. I have a new sense of meaning and purpose in my life. I’m better able to focus on my goals and dreams.”
“Now, does this sound familiar? It should, because the top five traits of post-traumatic growth are essentially the direct oppositeof the top five regrets of the dying. Now this is interesting, right? It seems that somehow, a traumatic event can unlock our ability to lead a life with fewer regrets.”
McGonigal speaks about a game that she designed (she really is a video game designer) and if you complete the game, you will gain 7 1/2 more minutes to your life. I was skeptical at first but played it and am convinced now that I have been playing her game all this time since experiencing the trauma of losing so many family members, changing jobs, changing residences and changing of family life. The extreme trauma that I encountered in such a short amount of time placed me in the same stance that she speaks of in her presentation.
So how did I play her game and how does it connect to my running? Watch her video now to fully understand and if YOU are a runner, see how it pertains to you. If you are NOT a runner but want to live life without those regrets, don’t worry… she tells you how you can, too, and without even having to run a full marathon or all the other extreme events I’ve done.
Take a look at that regret list again. As it pertains to me, I’m glad things happened the way the did… now that I see this perspective.
1. Because of all the family deaths that happened so close to each other and in such a short amount of time, I can now see the opportunity that was given to me to spend those last remaining moments with those who passed and now more time with my father (who is probably hurting way more than I am) and my children at home before one leaves to college and the other just grows up too fast. ***Now if you are reading this and judging me already, think twice. I’m not saying “Don’t work hard”. You didn’t see the video if you’re saying that. I’m saying that these events changed my perspective on life and understand now how fragile it is and allowed me to make spending time with my family a priority.
2. I grew up with a motley crew of amigos. We were all so different from each other, a breakfast club of misfit toys but loyal like you’ve never seen before. They all came to my side to offer love and assistance in my time of need when my family passed away. The tragedy brought us all back together. And since I began running, joining Team in Training, the Maniacs, RWC, the Cyclepaths, etc. I’ve made even more wonderful friendships that inspire and encourage me to a level I never knew existed.
3. I have a better understanding of what brings me happiness and how to BE happy. While I understand that there will always be stress, sadness and traumatic events that happen in life, I feel better prepared to handle them without going into full blown depression, yelling, screaming and crying – well with one exception. My Momma had a way of finding the silver lining in every bad situation. She did a great job of teaching me that skill. I know WHO I am, accept my flaws, forgive myself and move on so that I improve myself in the best way I possibly can.
4. Although it was difficult in the beginning, but documenting my experiences via facebook and this blog and talking about the silver linings has helped me remember the good in my life and not dwell on the negative. Expressing myself has probably been the hardest thing for me to do because it exposed my vulnerabilities to public judgment. While trying to focus on the positive, some people tried to turn it around and make it seem like I was bragging rather than writing a never ending sob story or discussing all my faults for scrutiny. While it is still difficult to manage my “editors” from the peanut gallery, I’m pretty pleased with the way I have expressed myself. I’ve told my story. I’ve shared my experiences and knowledge and hope that it helps someone else who is going through similar circumstances.
5. I may have missed my chance to fulfill the dreams I had when I was young BUT as I have grown and learned more about the world, I’ve found new dreams and new goals to have. I am confident that tomorrow I may have even more dreams and goals but the important thing is that I allow myself a plan to get to those dreams and goals that I have. I still have those who expect me to be something/someone I am not… I struggle with that and do what I can to be that better person for them. Deep down inside, I think we all know we can’t be all things to everyone no matter how hard we try, we can’t make everyone happy.
So did you play the game and complete it? Come on. Be honest. Did you snap or count backwards? More importantly… did you give up?
Giving up was the key language for me in her presentation. It was my NOT giving up when I ran that boosted my resilience. I could have given up and cried on the couch and chowed down on cheese puffs while ordering material items I don’t really need with money I don’t have on QVC specials while gulping martinis. No… my Momma taught me better than that. She taught me how to play the game right.
Hi. My name is Myssie and I have Post Traumatic Growth disorder. Do you? Tell me about how what didn’t kill you made you stronger.
I’m asked quite often now what events are on my 2014 calendar. Of course, if you’ve followed along, you know my response 😉
Today was one of the events. I really do want to re-race each event I’ve done so far to measure any decrease in pace, if any. The Port Isabel Longest Causeway race was my first 10k, almost exactly one month after my first 5k. I had been running for just about three months. Still very green, awkward and overcome with nerves.
But today was different. Not that I’m all Olympian or Kenyan by any means, but I really did feel at home at this race today. Practice, training and experience has all helped me overcome the nerves and focus on just doing my best and enjoying everything around me.
This may sound weird to you non-runners but as a flat valley runner with little to no experience with hills or elevated grades, running up the Causeway is a serious challenge that takes great physical effort and stamina. The challenge plays mind games with you… or at least it does with me. I did a pretty good pace going up and stopped three times to take photos of a few fellow Cyclepaths that I saw along the way. Coach Hector marked my time trial at 10:45 with a 13:15 goal pace. *My run pace has slowed tremendously so I’m building it back up by returning to Running 101 class and tons of run drills that coach has designed just for me. I think it’s working.
I held an 11:40 pace (even with all the stopping for photos and chit chats with friends) which puts me at 2 minutes faster than Coach’s goal pace for me. I finished at 1:14… nothing to be ecstatic about right? Wrong.
Wanna see why this is so exciting for me? Look at my time from the last Causeway race.
To me, any improvement is worthy of celebration!!! Especially after doing so much with so little experience.
I would love to say that by CapTex I can get back to my 8 min paces but truth is that these last couple of months I’ve focused solely on running pace. Once I begin to incorporate swimming and biking into the weekly routines, I’m sure that my 8 dreams will likely fizzle. So I won’t get upset if I don’t reach 8 but that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna try and it doesn’t mean that I’m gonna kill myself trying to get there. Ya, re-read that last line. Do it again. Understand?
Oh! My review of the race today you ask?
Honestly, today was a bit of a blurr. What stood out the most were three parts.
1. Going uphill on the Causeway was a bit surreal. It wasn’t like last time – sunny and calm with the smell of the salt water filling your lungs. Today had a thick brownish sticky fog that smothered the view and your body with an icky feeling. It took me back to my younger days in dance clubs where the dance floor would poof up with thick smoke and that lovey dovey slow song would play for the traditional “it’s 2:00a.m. bar is closing hook up” song. I remember smiling big as ever as I found myself slow dancing over the Gulf of Mexico. Its hard to describe the feelings I get when I run. I remember getting a few boys upset when I was younger dancing with them at clubs because once I closed my eyes and my hands went up into the sky, I was in my own little world and they knew I was no longer with them. It was how I escaped. I never needed drugs or alcohol. I just needed a good beat to dance to. Well, the same kinda goes for running.
It’s a sensual exhilarating exhausting feeling that isn’t sexual. Does that make sense? People kept telling me how addictive running was and to watch out for the “runner’s high” and I’d laugh. Maybe this is what they were talking about. Maybe I do get high. Maybe running is my drug. Wow. I hope coffee doesn’t get jealous!!!
2. The last mile just as I turned the corner, I flashed back to the year prior when I witnessed a fellow Run Walk or Crawl runner fall to the street with a broken hip. I said a quick prayer of thanks for the ability to run without injury. So many people are not able to. This is a gift that I and all those around me at the time were given. And that’s when my mind went to David Mendez. I had asked a fellow Team in Training team mate about him two days ago. He’s struggling now and has spent the last two weeks at MD Anderson. And that’s when I jumped into high gear…
3. It was the thought of David that pushed me to my last sprint across the finish. Normally, I gracefully prance across the finish with my hands held high showing my momma in Heaven my hand signs and smiling big for the cameras. Today was different. I don’t know what came over me but I was just so filled with emotion. How could I waste this gift that has been given to me? And my inner voice loudly commanded me to go… go as fast as I possibly could. Sprint. Race. David can’t. You can. Go! I didn’t look at anyone around me. I focused on that finish line and went for it like a crazy mad woman. I scared even myself!!! But it was a great feeling. That was for David because I still don’t know what to say to him to make it all better. So I run.
With all that I’ve been though, I should know what to say by now to people who have been hurt by cancer. Shouldn’t I?
The new year has begun and now I have lots of friends who told me a couple of years ago “You look great! And HAPPY!”, “You are such an inspiration. I could never run like you do”, “I’ve never been able to run,”…. and guess what… ya, you know what… they’re starting to run!!!
Including my own son!!!!
For those of you who follow me and don’t know me personally, let me sum it up for you… I’m probably one of the most over protective moms that ever lived. There. Period.
This last month, my son blurted out “Wake me up early so I can go run with you tomorrow morning”. It was the equivalent of Heaven’s gates opening and a chorus of angels singing. YAY!!!!
For those of you who do know me personally and remember me saying that I’d never talk about my family on this blog… ok, I retract my statement. My son is joining me on my running journey!!!! He will now become a part of it and let me tell you, watching so many of my running team mates have their families run with them or man water stations or hold up silly posters wearing purple wigs and clanging cow bells at races was the bomb!!!! Many times, it was those families that made me feel like I was a part of their family. I’ve never been someone to push or bully someone into doing anything against their will, so I’ve been quite passive about this but secretly, just between me, you and this computer screen… I so wanted my family to be a part of it.
Ok, a quick run down (pun intended)
My son is an asthmatic so we went to his doctor yesterday to get him checked out. She was elated to hear that he would be running!
“It’ll teach him to open up his lungs at a different level.” She knew he was an incredible swimmer so developing his lungs over all the years of swimming would help with this next step. After a detailed check up and a couple of tests, she loaded him up with advice, monthly visits, samples and a huge smile!
We went to visit my run gurus at Valley Running Company. He got fitted for his shoes. They took their time with him and asked a lot of questions, had him walk this way and run that way and after about two hours… he left with the same shoes I have. Blame genetics. He’s got my crazy feet, same arch and duck walk. Saucony is going to be very happy with this family.
Signed him up for Running 101 – our local run class. Yes, this may sound a little crazy to some of you but our local run shop hosts run classes to TEACH US HOW TO RUN. There is a coach to give us weekly run drills, stretches, correct our form and we do it in a group atmosphere so that we all learn from each other, encourage each other and become accountable to each other. Plus there is safety in numbers when running in the evening.
So, let me review some of the basics, the important basics that every one should do when starting a new running routine:
1. See your doctor and tell him/her about your new running activity and ask if they have any concerns about it.
2. Get a custom fit shoe by a qualified run shoe store expert.
3. Find a running group to join with an experienced coach to teach you correct form and run safely in a group on a regular basis.
Starbucks baristas served about 70 runners from the Running 101 Class at Valley Running Company midway through their social 6-mile run last night.
After my sons’s first run class last night, Coach Hector asked to meet with him today on a one to one evaluation. He went over a few stretches and strength exercises for his ankle that seemed to have been giving him some problem. He also went over some biomechanics and form correction with his stride.
Running is one of our most basic and instinctive exercises but two years into this and I see it is such a complex sport. I learn something new about it every day. It’s easy and it’s complicated. Strange huh? What’s even stranger is the love/hate relationship that you develop with it!!!
I’m so excited about my son running with me. I truly hope he enjoys this.
Wow!!! Sissy… you really outdid yourself this time!
You have good days and you have bad days and what you need to remember is that after all the bad days that kick you when you’re down, there’s a really really good day that makes you forget about that bad stuff.
2. Bad things happen to good people. And they remain good people.
I’ve been wronged a lot in my life but nothing compared to what Dezma’s family has had to deal with, or Chef Marcel and Sylvia, or so many of my friends who have had cancer, adultery/divorce, bankruptcy, death happen to them. Good people… really really good people have hit rock bottom this year and they still have the heart to help others who are wronged.
3. Good things happen to bad people. And they remain bad. But I still have hope.
We all know someone like this. My only explanation is that God spends extra time on these people, a bunch of us secretly pray for people like this – and those prayers come true for them… one day, I have faith, that they’ll be grateful for all that they have and stop making life miserable for the others around them.
4. Letting go of the worries that you cannot control works only if you let go of the people who worry about things they cannot control.
It’s pointless to worry about the world coming to an end. It’s out of my control. But that worry will still be a thorn in my side if the people around me worry about the things they cannot control.
5. Never Ever Give Up. Unless what you are doing is not making a positive impact on your life and the lives of others.
At the beginning of 2013, NEGU was a mantra I truly believed in. Until one day I figured out the difference between giving up and letting go. Yes, there is a difference.
6. I still can’t make everyone happy.
Duh. Oh! and it’s always the unhappy ones that are the most vocal. Can you imagine receiving a summary of your mistakes at the end of every day? Yes, every day. EVERY day.
7. I learned that it is when you make yourself most vulnerable to people that you feel the most love and feel the most heartache.
Falling in love, feeling love, and feeling the hurt that comes with heartache is so very worth it. No matter what.
8. Life doesn’t get any easier, you just get stronger, pick your battles and learn to ignore the silly stuff (and people) that shouldn’t really matter in the big scheme of things.
That should be self explanatory.
9. Sometimes rejection is a gift that should have been unwrapped a long time ago.
One door closes and another opens… or have a bunch of friends with you who can help you knock that friggin wall down. Maybe this will get me to make my own path in 2014.
10. I learned to do more of what makes me happy instead of what makes others happy.
Because if I don’t, it becomes quite clear to me who those people are that don’t WANT me happy.
11. Family is everything
And sometimes you realize that some friends should have been family.
12. I also learned that I really am a lot more like my mother than I thought I was. And I’m a lot like my dad, too.
So there.
Today, as we wish each other a Happy New Year, let us determine to be more sincere, compassionate, warm-hearted human beings, trying to make our world a more equal place. That way we’ll actually make it a happy year. ~~ Dalai Lama
Posted in Uncategorized on December 31, 2013 by runmyssierun
The last few years have been incredibly difficult for me. Lessons have been everywhere for me and up until recently , I honestly thought I was a quick learner… But it seems I have a hard time learning these lessons.
So take the time to write your story right… Because the hard part is not in writing it… It’s the editing of it.
Resolution Road cometh early: * I will not take my self so seriously I forget to live, laugh, and love * I will continue to push for my health and my family’s * I will make as many resolutions and goals and list need to achieve success rather than accept defeat or failure * I will lead by positive example whenever possible: I will follow positive examples whenever given * I will do more to remember than forgetting ( except when it comes to spelling and cheesecake) * I may or may not consider myself crazy for this years fitness goals but if I do? Well that’s okay because they are still getting not just done but DONE RIGHT!!!
Thank you to Cheryl who shared these thoughts with me and my run group. She said it better than I ever could have.
It was the last weekend of 2011 and I had recently finished my first 5k (at the Fiesta marathon) and right between Christmas and New Years… the perfect time to give up on your fitness routine because of all the parties and temptation and seriously… resolutions start AFTER December 31st, right???
Wrong
This resolution was to be life changing for me at that time and even though I didn’t know anyone running that morning at Bill Schupp park, I knew I owed it to myself and to Sissy to get in as many training races as possible… so I did it.
And I ran it.
And ran it again the last weekend in 2012.
And ran it again this last weekend in 2013… today. But this time it was with my two boys. THAT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY YEAR!!! To know that I’ve made so many sacrifices these last two years, so many lifestyle changes and so many positive impacts by staying true to myself and my running fitness goals that it impacted the lives of my sons… by their choice.
You have no idea how gratifying it is so see this come full circle.
Sissy certainly knew what she was doing. Three years ago, had you told me that my boys and I would be running races for “fun”… I would have laughed hysterically in your face!!!
I do love the new “me” that I’ve fought to become again… again? Yes, again. I am slowly becoming the woman I was a long time ago and was reminded of that just last night when my old friends from high school all came together to celebrate Billy’s wedding. If you are familiar with 80’s movies, you know who Molly Ringwald is. Well, there was a part of me in every character that Molly played. I refer back to Molly a lot because in high school, my friends were the real breakfast club. And I was Molly.
Of all the characters that she played, I was probably most like Andie Walsh.
I still love the classic Karmann Ghia, shop at thrift stores, sketch designs and am surrounded by music (although not a music store in my real life unless you consider iTunes as the modern day music store) and I’m least like Claire Standish because although I did win my city’s local crown, I was hardly a princess. I don’t think I could do the lipstick trick (I never tried) but I could do the cherry stem trick 😉 and I still swoon over the dark haired bad boy. What is probably MOST predictable is that I married a guy who honestly really did look like Jake Ryan. I’ve been coloring my hair for so long that you’d never even know that my real hair color is copper red!!!
I’m rambling
So anyways as my old Breakfast Club reunited (sans a few members) the talk and the realization of who I used to be and who I was becoming were quite similar. THANK GOD!
In my teens and early twenties, I felt like I could do anything I set my mind to. I conquered all! There were no limits. In my late twenties, thirties and early forties, I felt like I could do nothing right.
Each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal.
My Breakfast Club friends – life long friends – helped make me feel like I could do anything. And I hope that I don’t diminish how special they are to me by saying this next part because NO ONE COULD POSSIBLY BE AS WONDERFUL FRIENDS AS THEY WERE TO ME AT THAT TIME but now I feel like through all these run groups, team in training, Maniacs, cyclepaths, etc…. is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal.
When the original Breakfast Club was together, we were unstoppable. We could change the world if we wanted to in 72 hours. We never realized what we had at the time.
Now, I have a new Breakfast Club. The members are all so very different from each other. Some of us still tear each other apart with misunderstandings and gossip. (Not like my original Breakfast Club) But some of us… some of us are pretty dang awesome. And I’ll bet if given the chance, they could change the world in 72 hours if they wanted to.
I am so glad that I am part of this motley gang of misfit fitness fanatics. I am so glad that I have the family that I do. I am so glad that I was raised by the family that I had. I am so glad that my Breakfast Club reunited and remembered who I was and who Sissy wanted me to be again.
The great thing about Andie, Samantha and Claire is that all those characters went through some crazy drama, she had a few trusteds that she vented with (Yes, I have a “Duckie”, too), but with the help of her friends and the love of her family and a little bit of creativity… she gave up something that was dear to her and gave it to the handsome bad boy
she transformed the humble gifts that were given to her and creatively combined them all so that she could show the world that they did not break her, and she showed up to the big event and showed them..
In the end, Molly always got the kiss and the storybook happily ever after ending… and that’s where I hope I am now. Sometimes I feel like my whole life has been written by John Hughes. Sometimes, I wish it was.
2014… it’s time to get it right. I know my goals. I know how to get them. It’s not going to be the trite “New year/New me” lingo here… I want the old me back again. So here we go!!! With the help of my friends and family…
WHAT’S HAPPENING HOT STUFF?????
Don’t you forget about me. (*Rodney Perez)
To my Duckie…
Taking it back old school so that I can move forward.
RunMyssieRun 