Half way to the beginning of my next voyage, rain postpones me. And just as I started to get those nervous conversations bounce around in my head… The notes get passed back and forth.
Best advice so far: Never trust a Gary. 😉 ya that’s an inside joke
Have I told you lately that I’ve been following signs?
This couldn’t be more perfect!!!
You’re not built like an athlete.
You need to lose weight.
You’re too old to be doing that extreme stuff.
You’re not fast enough.
You have to train harder.
You train too much and you’re being selfish.
You can’t do it all.
You’re going to hurt yourself.
Why don’t you just go to a gala instead?
I don’t think you understand. I made a promise.
I don’t think you understand. I don’t really care what I look like to you.
I don’t think you understand. I don’t really care what you think.
I don’t think you understand what love does to you when you no longer have it.
I know I’m not built like an athlete.
I know I’m not thin and muscular.
I know I have to train harder… harder than anyone else around me. It’s been like this all my life.
I know I’m not fast. I never have been and probably won’t ever be super fast either…. but I’ll go way farther than the person on the podium because I’ll never quit.
I know I can’t do it all and that’s why I surround myself with lots of people who HAVE done this and are willing to help me do it again.. together.
I know the risk of hurting myself. I pray. ALL THE TIME.
I did go to galas. But now it’s personal. It’s for love.
Can I do this? Can I really do this?
I’ve been trained by the best. I’ve put in my blood, sweat and tears.
But I’ll be honest… I have become quite nervous. I question myself, my abilities, my sanity, my reason for doing this. And there you have it… the words from Berenice’s mouth as I was hobbling during the run at my first Triathlon (Stanley’s Triathlon) still echo in my head.
“Remember why you are doing this!” — Berenice Puga
Are you mentally tough as a cyclist? Is mental training an active part of your preparation or simply an after-thought? Do you know how to consistently harness the power of your mind to lift the level of your performance? Or are you your own worst enemy out there? Do you do better in practice than actual races or events? Are you regularly beaten by athletes you know you should own? When the going gets tough, do you get scared and break down?
How about your motivation as a cyclist? Do you have the inner drive to do what’s necessary to achieve success? Do you have a meaningful goal that helps keep you focused and moving forward through the brutal and oftentimes monotonous grind of daily training? Without a “big enough why” or a personally compelling goal your motivation will stall out. You have to be able to ask yourself on a daily basis, “How is what I’m doing today and right now going to help me get to where I want to go?” Far too many athletes make a “deal with the devil.” That is, they trade what they want the most, for what they want right now.
Becoming a champion (however you personally define “champion”) also demands that you consistently practice “pushing the envelope.” You have to be willing to regularly bust your butt. That is, you must live the winner’s creed, get comfortable being uncomfortable!” Your success demands that you continually move towards your physical and emotional limits. When you’re tired and your body is screaming for mercy, you have to stay with the discomfort just a little more. When you don’t like the training conditions, weather or course, you have to learn to embrace them. Finding adverse conditions to train in is simply being smart! Sooner or later you’ll have to compete in them. If it intimidates you to train with or compete against much better competition, seek them out! They are your ticket to the next level! Get comfortable being uncomfortable and you’ll become successful. The only way to really excel in your sport and in life is to get in the everyday habit of pushing your envelope.
Becoming a winner also demands that you develop the ability to handle competitive pressure. Does pre-event nervousness sabotage all your hard work and good coaching? If you can’t learn to control your nerves, then you’ll never ride to your potential. Staying cool (see below for example) in the clutch is a mental skill that you can easily master with a little practice. If pre-event jitters have gotten the better of you before, then with the use of several reliable relaxation and concentration strategies, even you can learn to consistently keep yourself at “good nervous.”
Mastering pain and fatigue is another mental skill needed to achieve success in cycling. This means that you have to know two things: First, how to control your focus when you begin to hurt; Second, how to neutralize the negative thinking and self-doubts that almost always tag along with the pain. Much of your confidence comes from this latter sports psychology skill. If you think you lack the confidence that you should have given your talent and success, then chances are good that you haven’t been doing a good job controlling your negative self-talk. Training your “inner coach” is critical if you want to learn to feel good about yourself and believe in YOU!
Concentration is another master skill needed to achieve success as a cyclist. You must develop the ability to focus on what’s important and block out everything else. Your mental skills in this area directly affect your ability to effectively handle pressure. In fact, the wrong focus before and during your century is the #1 cause of accidents. The great thing about concentration is that with a little practice, you can learn to excel in this mental area.
Becoming a champion also means that you have to learn how to deal with adversity, setbacks and failure? Winners build their success on their failures. They learn from their mistakes and then leave them behind. What kind of “reboundability” do you have? To the champion, failure is something that you do to get to success. It is the ticket that allows you to reach your goals.
Remember, cycling to your potential depends a great deal upon how well you mentally prepare ahead of time. Do you know how to use imagery, mental rehearsal or visualization to maximize your chances of success? Did you know that mental rehearsal can significantly help you stay calm in the clutch and build your confidence? Are their points in your century ride where you always fall apart? Mental rehearsal can help you turn these weak spots into areas of strength.
You’d never go into a 100 mile plus ride and leave the physical part of your performance to chance! So why ride and leave this all important mental dimension to chance?
Sent to me by Coach Darin
Before I see your family at the finish line, I had to visit you first.
People send me notes of encouragement, love and just plain old silly things that make me smile.
I love how varied they all are and I love each of those special persons who send them to me.
Tell someone special that you love them… Before you no longer have that chance.
I regret the things I didn’t say.
It’s a moment in time when all of a sudden the light bulb shines brightly in your head…
The “Ah ha” Moment!
As I near the end of my TRIPLE CROWN journey, I wanted to take a look back over all the people who stood by me, those who encouraged, those who said it couldn’t be done, those who benefitted, those who joined with me, those who mocked me, those who gave, those who took, those who I lost… and those precious, dear new friends I gained.
Those of you who follow my facebook, twitter, instagram and other sm accounts know that I rarely use names in my posts. I have nick names for family members and simply don’t talk about people I don’t like. *I learned that from Bambi* http://youtu.be/I71cY9Ysy5U
So, if I haven’t talked about you and you want to see your name here, want acknowledgment of some sort and are upset because you feel I’ve left you out… think again. Ask yourself, “Is she protecting my privacy or is she upset because I hurt her?” Regardless of the answer, know that you certainly have NOT been forgotten.
The ones that deserve more recognition than I have given… I’m going to continue on with my kudos and their nick names:
Dolly Gas – I was 18 years old when I first met her. Even back then I -and everyone else- knew this woman was soon to be the pulse of the Valley. She has a gift unlike any other, that of kindness and generosity unmatched. It is always when I least expect her to be by me to lift me up that she is there. She has been one of my biggest supporters, largest donors, most encouraging fan and dearest friend. For over two decades, this woman has shown me by her example all that I hope to be.
Butterfly Angel – This woman is so incredible! When I first met her, she didn’t know who I was and started talking about me to me. When I got to know her story, it was so similar to my own, I felt from the get go that we were true sisters. We both knew the torment that cancer causes and the torment of running a marathon… together. She has also been one of my biggest supporters, largest donors, most encouraging fan and has quickly become a dear friend. From bike jerseys that have turtles to orange bike gloves to hiring an artist to paint my first running shoe… this woman thinks of everything!!!
Les is More – This woman was one of my baby brothers dearest friends. She was accused of untruths and blamed for things that she did not do. She still had the grace to keep her head high, crush the lies and still do the right thing by killing the accusers with kindness. When those things happen to me, I look to her for guidance as her example has led me through way too many situations that flooded my eyes with tears and brought me to my knees… from those same people who tried to take her down. She has not only donated to EVERY Leukemia & Lymphoma event I’ve been in but she has also been a fabulous mastermind to several fundraisers for me as well.
My Breakfast Roll Club, PNO, and the “Family” – If laughter, love and encouragement had a dollar value… with all that they have given me, I’d be a gazillionaire. Honestly, I did the math.
Because the above have given so much, I keep their identities sacred so that others do not attack them for donations. Unfortunately, our world revolves around money and the people above have worked very hard for the money that they have and are always being hit up. People see their deep pockets and not their overflowing hearts. I’ve been the lucky one to be a recipient of their overflowing hearts.
Coach – I know… I call so many people “coach” because I have so many (running, triathlon, tnt, flex, vrc, etc). I often boast that the world is my coach because of all the lessons I’ve learned these past couple of years. But my close circle of friends/fellow athletes know who my “coach” is. While she has not made a donation, it is the skill, motivation and experience that she has shared with me that trumps any dollar amount. How can you put a monetary value on self-esteem?
Xman, Skittles and Little Skittles – I could not do my long runs on Saturdays, open water swims on Sundays or 80-mile bike rides in the hill country without these boys “taking up the slack” at home. They’ve waited for hours for me to finish marathons with cowbell and posters. They ran 5ks with me for training. They shaved their heads in solidarity. They gave me swimming lessons, took the dogs out, folded laundry, swept fur off the floor, quietly watched TV in the other room while I recovered and even followed me around on one marathon with ice chests full of ice, water, gatorade and fuel for me and all the other runners around. How can you put a monetary value on sanity? There’s no way I could train the way I do without this kind of support at home.
And now to “those”
To the mothers (especially) and families of Sarah, Ben, Baby E and Dezma… thank you for allowing me to befriend the grandest treasure of your life. Thank you for having the courage to tell the world of your struggles and your triumphs. Through your grace I have found my resolve. Thank you.
To the fellow runner who accused me behind my back of lying about my mile times. Thank you for getting me angry enough to run even faster than what I had stated and was smart enough to have proof the next time on my Garmin. YOU made me faster. Thank you.
To the jealous gym bunnies, false friends and former co-workers who made my life miserable with gossip, flirting, accusations and making fun of the hand sign that my mother and I treasured so deeply… I hope one day you’ll be able to experience the self esteem and confidence that I gained. You probably need it more than I ever did.
To those hundreds of people who wrote to me with questions on how to get started on your own journey, please know that you ARE worthy enough to make yourself the same promise I made to myself. DO NOT GIVE UP. Not on yourself. Value yourself more. Trust me, I struggle with the same issues you do. Many of us do. NEGU
To that stranger who ran a marathon for my mother and my aunt Sissy without ever knowing who they were… THANK YOU. Thank you for giving us six more treasured years together. Thank you for all your hard work and dedication and training and fundraising and sacrifice and anonymous grace. I will probably never know who you are but I hope that I honor you for what you have done by doing the same for someone else in the same circumstance.
To my sponsors… WOW! It is honestly overwhelming to attempt to even try to name them all here (some are at the top right corner of the screen if you’re on a computer or at the very bottom if you scroll down on your phone screen). To think that a business owner saw enough potential in me to give a portion of their hard earned money and donate it to some crazy person doing an extreme physical event so that someone they or she would never know could get their cancer treatment, transportation, housing or possibly a cure just fills my heart with hope for our world. God really does work through us all. In all our deeds and thoughts, He is in us. How else can you explain this?
To my donors… Each one gave as much as they possibly could in honor or in memory of a loved one touched with cancer. So many gave me names, photos and stories of those they gave for. Each one touched me to the core. I knew many and felt like I knew the rest after hearing the stories. From $5 to $2000, the donations kept coming in. I did my best to tell their stories to any who would listen. I did even better remembering them when I wanted to quit running, swimming or cycling. Because what I was going through couldn’t be nearly as hard or as painful as what they went through. Thank you donors. Your money is going to someone as special as my mom was to me.
To my Team in Training teammates, fellow Maniacs, Cyclepaths, VRC running class, RWC girls, 5am wake up riders and RPM classmates, thank you for pushing me and encouraging me. I always felt guilty as I was the last to come in (always) and knowing that each of you sat and waited for me to finish each practice and event. You did so with cheers and smiles and no complaints. I am honored to have had each of you by my side. YOU WOULD NOT LET ME QUIT. Thank you for that.
To my family – Thank you for sitting in the hot sun and the bottom of heartbreak hill with posters and cheers before I even knew what heartbreak hill was! Thank you for homemade banana nut bread for recovery… yes, bananas ARE supposed to be eaten to help with lost potassium. We’ve gone through so much together, I am so thankful that the silver lining for us is a much closer, loving family than ever before.
To my friends – Homemade pasta carb-loading dinners pre-race night, custom wet-suits by design, dinners in San Diego, floor seats to the Spurs before race day… the extravagance of their generosity is amazeballs!!! I am one of those lucky people who has lifelong friendships that count. They never EVER forget me and the bonds are unbreakable. Clearly. They know that what I am doing is completely different from what I have done all my life… I’m a professional princess 😉 And they still treat me as the legend in my own mind. I really do have the best friends ever.
To my brother – I know you are still with me. EVERY SINGLE EVENT I have done has had a Foo Fighters song blaring out at me at one point or another. I know you are still with me. Now stop laughing at how slow I still am!!! You weren’t fast either!
To my Sissy – Thank you for pushing me into this journey. Thank you for knowing that this would be the perfect opportunity to meet your biological family. Thank you for planning my journey back to self-esteem and health. Thank you for NOT picking zumba (as I first joked to you about).
To my Momma – Thank you for the courage and strength you showed all your life but especially while you were being attacked by cancer. Thank you for being the roll model I still struggle trying to portray. THANK YOU FOR EVERY SINGLE CHOICE YOU MADE. Thank you for telling me every chance you got that I could do anything I set my mind to. You were always right.
Thank you world.
I see what I must do.
http://www.krgv.com/videos/police-report-2-attacks-on-mcallen-jogging-trail/
I was on the news today. Seems we have a bit of a pervert problem on our running trails. Now that my bike has been shipped off to Vegas already for Viva Bike Vegas, I’ll be spending more time on the trails. Times have changed though. More predators are out and about.
I WILL NOT LET THEM DEFEAT ALL THE WORK I HAVE DONE SO FAR BY DRIVING ME AWAY WITH FEAR.
I was on those trails first!
Run safe girls! Run smart.
Momma’s birthday was this weekend. It was bittersweet. All this week I had learned of friends who had lost loved ones and with as much experience as I have had and so many people telling me kind and comforting words, I still felt I had nothing comforting to say to them.
Maritza (one of the triathletes that trains with me and a beauty queen I have been mentoring for years now) lost her brother this week. It was a complete shock for her and her family. He was just 31 years old.
Jaime (my high school boyfriend) celebrated his birthday on the same day that his father passed away.
You would think that sufficient time has passed for me to be able to offer words of wisdom and attend a rosary or funeral with poise. But I still can’t. I break down too easily. And the harder I try to be strong, the worse off I am.
When does it get better? When does it get easier?
I spent Momma’s birthday on the streets again riding. Everyone warned me of the rain storm that was predicted to pummel us that morning. I have to roll my eyes now. Seems no one believes I have weather angels. *that was sarcasm but kinda true*
The weather was perfect. Absolutely perfect!!!
Halfway through my ride, I got this incredible urge to go straight home. I don’t know what it was but I just had to get home to Dad.
I’m so glad I did. He needed me there. He took today harder than I expected. Sometimes I’m too used to looking up to him to remember that he lost his wife, his sister and his son this last year, too. He is human.
I spent the day listening to him. We played pool, ate some lunch, had some birthday dessert and remembered her quietly in our own ways.
I chose to rest on the hammock in the porch and found myself staring at the swing she so enjoyed every morning with her cup of coffee. She loved her back yard. I don’t blame her. It has the most amazing flowers and birds. In a way, I could still see her on that swing.
I know we all have to go through this throughout our lives. I just wish it didn’t happen this early in life. I wish I could take the pain away.
I wish.
The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) kicked off Blood Cancer Awareness Month. One of our goals for September is to create a keen awareness of the critical needs so many patients have for therapies that can save their lives not someday, but today.
Since its beginning, LLS has focused on finding cures and ensuring access to treatments for all blood cancer patients. We have one goal: A world without blood cancers.
With that goal comes our responsibility as the voice for all blood patients to disseminate crucial information about treatments and access.
The results of our national consumer survey point to knowledge gaps that we aim to address with our education efforts, so that we can continue to fund our mission:
82% of adults were surprised to learn more than 1 million US adults are living with a blood cancer.
76% of adults did not know LLS funds promising cancer therapies.
87% of adults were surprised to learn about every 4 minutes someone in the US is diagnosed with a blood cancer.
Knowing the facts is important in deciding where to give your charity dollars. To learn more about Blood Cancer Awareness Month click here.
Where does the $$ you raise go??
18,300 patients received LLS Co-Pay Assistance in FY13
More than $41.2 million dollars were disbursed in FY13
Again… My mother battled cancer for 6 1/2 years. Someone out there in the world ran a marathon(s) for her treatment. My Sissy battled cancer for 2 years. Someone out there in the world completed a triathlon for her co-pay.
In about two weeks, I will complete the triple crown – a marathon, a triathlon and a century ride – so that someone I will probably never meet will be able to get their treatment… or hopefully a cure. That person is just as important as the loved ones that cancer stole from me.
I was watching Good Morning America today and was brought to tears by Mandisa’s new song that was debuted. The video was so powerful. Here are the lyrics:
Staring at a stop sign
Watching people drive by
T Mac on the radio
Got so much on your mind
Nothing’s really going right
Looking for a ray of hope
Whatever it is you may be going through
I know He’s not gonna let it get the best of you
You’re an overcomer
Stay in the fight til the final round
You’re not going under
Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it’s hopeless
That’s when He reminds You
That you’re an overcomer
You’re an overcomer
Everybody’s been down
Hit the bottom, hit the ground
Oh, you’re not alone
Just take a breath, don’t forget
Hang on to His promises
He wants You to know
The same Man, the Great I am
The one who overcame death
Is living inside of You
So just hold tight, fix your eyes
On the one who holds your life
There’s nothing He can’t do
He’s telling You
Saturday is Momma’s birthday. I’m still not sure what I should be feeling. I know what I do feel.
RunMyssieRun 