The Final Countdown

Exactly one week from today, I and my cancer fighting TEAMmates will be at the Capital of Texas Triathlon crossing a finish line that represents not an end but a stepping stone through a journey to end cancer.

My training: I feel unprepared. I know I can finish the distance but am disappointed in that all my hard work, pushing my limits to my max a few months ago all got nixed because I was sick. Deep down, I know it will be my determination, adrenaline and prior developed endurance training that will get me to the finish line. Deep down inside, I really wanted to do better in time.

I did my last open water swim on Saturday morning at the private lake that I’ve fallen in love with. It was pretty humbling once again. We were supposed to swim from dock to dock (about 100 meters apart) 8 times, touch and go. I touched and hung on for dear life for about 2-4 minutes each time. Each second felt like an hour hanging on. I felt my heart beat thumping in my ears and couldn’t catch my breath. It was embarrassing.  I was asked over and over “Myssie, are you ok?” Everyone could tell I wasn’t myself. But I was stubborn enough to realize once my heart rate went down to a normal beat, I went after it again. It took me forever to finish but I did it.

I really really really wanted to do well this second time at CapTex. I just don’t think it’s going to happen. I’ll be lucky if I finish.

Good thing my teammates can’t stand me beating myself up long. And y’all know what happens when a frown is on my face. They bring out the big guns… the camera!!!! CHEESE!!!

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My inspiration: It was the coolest thing ever to see the people I trained with last year go to Ironman Texas this weekend. Watching Billy (err tracking him online) cross that finish and witnessing him get third place filled my heart with happiness for him. Finishing an Ironman is tough enough… but getting to podium, that’s just wow!

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Billy Flores – 3rd place Ironman Texas AG 18-24, sent me a text with this picture. His words of support brought tears to my eyes.

And Run Walk or Crawl sister and fellow Cyclepath Lorilyn…

And Derek…

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And Lori…

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And Jun…

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And my other Run Walk or Crawl sister Sandra…

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Their determination and positive and humble attitude is almost identical in each of them. Obviously these are traits of champions.

My book: Since it now looks closer to the end than ever before, things have become quite clear to me. Clearly I’ve lost focus. Re-reading my earlier posts, I felt all the emotion and passion from those entries as if I was right there in the moment. My latest entries seem so… bland. After revealing what I discovered to Dr. Nelson (a close friend of my mother and volunteer assistant to my project here) she said something quite shocking to me.

“You don’t want to deal with those emotions. So you’re finding ways to avoid dealing with them.”

So very true. So very true.

And now that it has been said and revealed, I must learn to deal with them. Seems this journey has twists and turns I not only didn’t see coming but closed my eyes to as well.

Good thing though is that part of my book has interviews with others who have also journeyed along the same path. How they answered is enlightening, hopeful and has taken me back to the place where I was able to balance all my emotions a bit better.

Writing and physical fitness has become very therapeutic for me.

Its a shame it will be taken away soon.

 

 

 

 

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